Kimmel’s back ex Sinclair, Oracle’s 4x CEOs, Office Depot’s gay wedding designer moment

DAMIONOracle names two CEOs in rare leadership shift after Catz exit Who Will You Blame?Lord Emperor Larry Ellison (65% influence and 42% voting power): he still gets $8.3M in pay despite owning ~$378B in Oracle stock. Is this even possible? He got security-related costs and expenses of $2,999,264 for his primary residence. Board chairFormer CEO and now Executive Vice Chair Safra Catz. She’s staying on the board.221,974: (i) Company matching contributions under our 401(k) Plan of $5,100, (ii) flexible credits used towards covering the premiums for cafeteria-style benefit plans in the amount of $14,860, (iii) security-related costs and expenses to augment the existing security system at Ms. Catz’s primary residence, (iv) legal counsel fees and (v) aggregate incremental costs to Oracle of $200,086 for Ms. Catz’s use of Oracle’s private aircraft for non-business travel. This leaves $1,928 for legal fees and security: for a Larry:Safra We Love Him More Security Ratio of: ~3114:1Catz still got $6.5M despite owning $2.8B of company stockNew co-CEO and director Clayton Magouyrk: joined Oracle in 2014, is 39Mr. Magouyrk will receive a grant of stock options to purchase $250M in shares of Oracle common stock with 80% of the grant consisting of time-based stock options and 20% of the grant consisting of performance-based stock options (“PSOs”).New co-CEO and director Michael Sicilia: joined Oracle in 2009, is 54Mr. Sicilia will receive a grant of stock options to purchase $100M in shares of Oracle common stock with 80% of the grant consisting of time-based stock options and 20% of the grant consisting of PSOs.The writer of this article: Oracle’s new Gen X and Millennial CEOs get stock options worth $350 million—but they’ll have to keep the stock soaring to collect80% of the grant consists of time-based stock options, hello??AutoZone Stock Falls After Its Fifth Consecutive Earnings Miss Who Do You Blame?William Rhodes III: Executive Chair (2007-) and former CEO, causing serious leadership strainCEO Philip Danielle III (2024-) for being weak in the face of Rhodes IIIEarl Graves Jr.: the longest tenured director has served for over two decades and still has the indecency to call himself the “Lead Independent Director.” He’s also the chair of the Nomination so this is ostensibly his board.Linda Goodspeed: while all directors are pictured wearing bluish/mauvish-colored shirts in the company’s last proxy, Linda is wearing a red sweater over hers.Director Gale King for NOT being the same Gayle King that is Oprah’s best friendShareholders: average 96% board support at last AGMThe fact that there are 4 suffixes on this board: Jr., Jr. III, III, the same number as women.The depressingly low ~-20% gender influence gap (women have no leadership roles on this board, except for Linda’s red sweater)Michelob Ultra overtakes Modelo Especial as best-selling beer in the U.S. Who Do You Blame?Social media personality Dylan Mulvaney, for being alive and getting a can of beerThose woke idiots at the American subsidiary Anheuser-Busch Companies, LLCWoke CEO Brendan Whitworth was a first lieutenant in the United States Marine Corps and then as an operations officer for the CIA's counterterrorism center. Woke!Their leadership page of 15 executives also has a woke DEI hire! Chief People Officer Lindsay KingThose woke idiots at the Belgian parent Anheuser-Busch InBev (AB InBev)They are even worse than their American counterparts: of their 18 executive leaders, they have TWO DEI WOMEN: Chief Communications Officer Donna Lorensen and General Counsel Katherine Barrett. DEI gone crazy!Just all the stupid corporations that “Go woke, go broke”Oh wait: Both Michelob ULTRA and Bud Light are made by Anheuser-Busch Companies, LLC, a subsidiary of Anheuser-Busch InBev.Behind closed doors, our top CEOs say Trump is bad for business and it’s time to Make America into America Again Who Do You Blame?Shareholders: This year (2025) the average vote support for director elections in the S&P 500 is about 96.5%American corporate governance practices which permit nearly half of S&P 500 CEOs to also serve as board chairs—the very bodies intended to oversee their management: giving them unmatched power and egoAverage S&P 500 CEO of about $19M, which financially protects them from the need to weigh in on political issues, left or rightThe US federal poverty line for 2025 is $15,650 per year, as established by the Department of Health and Human Services.So a 1214:1 pay ratio for those not in poverty: $15,651Passive institutional investors in U.S. equities like BlackRock, Vanguard Group, and State Street Global, who hold the door open for company managementYale Professor Jeffrey Sonnenfeld, who eschews journalism in favor of being friends with important people and lets him write things like: “One CEO of a major U.S. manufacturing company explained to the group” and “A well-known business leader with a significant ...