On this week's Keepin' It Real, Cam's visit to a hotel on the Gulf this wekend got Cam to thinking about how some people, well, they just don't get it...

-----

Tuesday I checked into a hotel in Gulf Shores at the Gulf State Lodge. “Where is the free parking?” I asked. “We don’t have any. You can pay to park or pay a little extra and I’ll park it.” This is the bell staff at the front door. I handed him my car key. “Where is a luggage cart? I have a bunch of stuff to get to my room for my workshop tomorrow.” “Guests aren’t allowed to use luggage carts. Only bell staff.” “So for me to take my stuff to my room I’d need to take multiple trips?” I asked. “Yes. But you can’t leave your stuff here.” “So the only way to comply is to ask you to assist me to my room.” “Something like that. We only allow bell staff to move luggage. Guests can’t move their own luggage.” I’m not liking this. Southern hotels confuse politeness with hospitality. He was very polite. He was not hospitable. What this hotel is thinking is customer service is to me nothing but angling for tips and making my trip more expensive. I’m not happy but trying to not let it get to me. My wife has me writing a gratitude journal because, apparently I’m good at noticing when things conspire against me.

The bellman walked my luggage and me to my hotel room and I’m working to change my first impression. Gratitude, I’m repeating to myself. Gratitude. Along the way he pointed to some construction happening between the hotel and the water’s edge and he shared that if I were to come back in the spring my room would overlook a new large adult pool. Oh, man. Did you hear it? This was it. This was going to change things. A dangling modifier. Oh MAN. This is fuel of bad dad jokes. This is candy for self-appointed funny people like me. For centuries dads have pounced on dangling modifiers to get chuckles from strangers and eye rolls from family. The bellman’s laughter would completely change how I felt about this hotel.

My mind quickly began preparing. The timing and delivery had to be perfect. I started thinking forward to how and when and where. The bellman helped me into my hotel room and unloaded his sacred luggage cart. I walked to the window and pulled back the curtain. It was time. “So,” I said, “next spring if I were to check in this room and pull back the curtains just like this, I’d get an eye-full or large adults? I’m not so sure I’d want that. Certainly not want to pay extra for that view.” There it was. So well done. Masterfully delivered.

I could see no scars around his face or head where his humor had been surgically removed but that could be the only explanation. “No,” he said, “the pool will be large. It will be a large pool.” I gave him twenty dollars, and he turned and pushed his sacred cart into the hall. “Thank you,” he said, stuffing the money into his pocket. He thought it was a tip, but I was paying him to go away.

I’m Cam Marston just trying to Keep it Real.

In today's Keepin It Real, Cam Marston laments the significant changes happening to the things that he once believed were fixed in place. Attitudes and beliefs once firmly held are vanishing. Even predictable things like football rankings have been deeply shaken.

-----

To say that our world is undergoing a remarkable paradigm shift today is a ridiculous understatement. Each morning I look over the headlines prepared to be blown away by how formerly predictable things are now upside down or simply gone.

On the political front, an economist at a meeting a few years back told us it was coming. Political parties flip flop on key issues, he said, suddenly deciding that their power would be enhanced if they adopted the other party’s position. He drew a four quadrant chart, showing how the parties were moving to replace each other on key positions. The Economist Magazine years ago wrote that the Republican’s belief in balanced budgets and free trade would help the world by creating tighter alliances and enhanced dependance between countries to provide goods and services. Today, the Republicans are the party of the tariff and are working to eliminate treaties and alliances. The Democrats are now the ones trying to protect alliances and reduce tariffs. A complete flip flop. How does one abandon deeply held economic principles so quickly?

It used to be that the Republicans were the party that championed character and integrity and honesty and truthfulness. They told Nixon they would no longer support him and encouraged him to resign when they learned he had willfully broken the law. They thrashed Bill Clinton when they learned of his affairs, saying he was morally unfit for the Presidency. Today? It’s hard to imagine a leader with more dubious character and lack of ethics. His transgression list is a mile long. And today’s Republicans? Not a word from them about it. They’re good with it. The party of character and integrity is gone. How does one so quickly abandon character and integrity?

We all once believed that playing time on the college football field was earned through quietly paying your dues and waiting your turn. We believed that the players on the field had earned their way onto the field and along the way they had developed a loyalty and appreciation for their school. We cheered for them because they had worked hard and waited in line and would love their alma mater just like so many of us do. Today? That’s gone. Each game is the mercenaries versus the hessians. I wonder if they even know what team’s jersey they wear and if they’ve ever been in a classroom at their school. I watch the games but I get sick when the announcer says a player is on his third school in three years. I watch but I don’t like it like I used to.

The final paradigm shift is that the mighty Alabama Crimson Tide lost their season opener and is ranked 21st in the second week of the season. Free trade gone. The republican’s loss of ethics. No longer paying your dues to get playing time on the field. None of that compares the paradigm shift of the Tide being ranked 21st in week two. That’s the one that gets me. That’s the one that tells me things have gone squirrely. I bury my head in my hands and worry about what’s next. It can’t be worse than this.

I’m Cam Marston and I’m just trying to Keep It Real.

On this week's Keepin It Real, Cam discusses his largely sedentary life and the fulfillment he gets on the rare occasions he can see the results of his work.

-----

Most weeks, my work mainly involves pushing electrons around. I sit at a computer and do stuff. Recently it’s been requests for short training videos for clients to use with their teams. I write scripts, edit scripts and record videos. Other weeks I prepare presentations. Lots of PowerPoint editing, lots of rehearsing content. Lots of time online. Lots of buying tickets. It’s all sedentary stuff. Me plus a keyboard plus a computer plus a screen, pushing electrons.

Last Saturday, though, was different. I was in Clark County at my father’s property near Grove Hill. I climbed on a tractor shortly after 7:30am. It’s a small John Deere with a scoop on the front and a mower on the back. I didn’t climb off until well after 2pm. For about seven hours I mowed and pushed downed trees out of roads and fields. I was bitten by every biting insect in North America. My arms and neck got burned. My work pants smelled of diesel fuel. I added a couple more tears to my already torn work TShirt. My socks balled up inside my boots, sweaty, and my back hurt from lifting 50 lb bags of wheat. When I washed my hands, the white sink turned brown with dirt and dust that had stuck to my sweaty arms. A mystery bruise was beginning to ache and turn purple on my shoulder. I sat down in my father’s small camp, told him I’m just going to close my eyes for a second, and fell solidly asleep. And I was deeply deeply happy.

Pushing electrons is what I’ve chosen to do for a living. At the end of every day, I typically leave my office with my checklist complete. I make a large one on Monday, add a little bit to it each day, cross some stuff off, and by Friday have largely worked through it. But I do not get the satisfaction of seeing the fruits of my work. At the end of the bricklayer’s workday, he can step back and see the progress he’s made. He started there in the morning and is now finishing here. His progress is easy to see. Pushing electrons doesn’t offer the same satisfaction. But that was not the case last Saturday. Fields and roads were mown. Trees were pushed away. Progress was obvious. And it felt good. And tiring. The soreness was welcome. And the nap on the couch was earned.

Fall means it’s time to cut firewood. It’s the wood we’ll use next fall, giving it a year to season and dry on the rack. I love cutting firewood. The feel of the chainsaw, going from tree to log to cut wood pieces to split pieces and the stack slowly growing in front of me. My hands rough and my back aching. Later, a cold beer and college football. And the sleep that night is an earned slumber.

I live a largely sedentary life. I go to work and sit. Then on to a meeting and sit. Then on to the next place and sit. A day seeing the progress of my work is needed every now and then. Strangely, the bruises and the soreness and the exhaustion make me feel alive.

I’m Cam Marston, just trying to keep it real.