John Milham: Turning Pain Into Purpose, Suicide Prevention

** Trigger warning** This episode does include some content that may be triggering for some listeners including losing a cherished partner, severe health issues, and men's suicide prevention.

What happens when life shatters your carefully constructed identity? For John Milham, losing his wife to cancer forced him to confront a devastating truth – the "iron warrior" persona he'd cultivated through decades in corporate IT couldn't protect him from grief's overwhelming tide. This breaking point became his transformation catalyst.

In this deeply moving conversation, John shares his extraordinary journey from self-described "self-indulgent wanker" to dedicated mental health advocate and suicide prevention specialist. With remarkable candor, he reveals how embracing his own vulnerability and mental health struggles – including complicated grief, anxiety, and suicidal ideation – gave him the authentic foundation needed to help others facing similar battles.

The statistics are staggering: 77% of all suicides are men – approximately 2,500 annually in Australia, almost double the road toll. John's work with Northern Beaches CARES and Kintsugi Heroes directly addresses this crisis by creating spaces where people, especially men, can share their stories without judgment. "Man up and show the courage to be vulnerable," he challenges, flipping traditional masculinity on its head while offering practical tools anyone can use to support themselves and others.

John introduces us to transformative concepts like the "morning mirror process" (a simple yet powerful self-love practice), the three levels of self-nurturing, and the countdown method for difficult conversations. He also shares unforgettable stories – like the man whose life was saved by his cat Marmalade – that illustrate how unexpected anchors can pull us back from the edge.

Whether you're struggling personally, supporting someone through crisis, or simply want to develop greater emotional resilience, this episode offers both practical wisdom and profound hope. As John quotes, "Pain is inevitable, but suffering is a choice." Listen now to discover how embracing your broken pieces might reveal your most beautiful self.

Resources discussed in this episode

Kintsugi Heroes: https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/

https://www.youtube.com/@kintsugiheroes/videos

Self-Compassion - Dr Kristin Neff - https://self-compassion.org/

There are several suicide prevention training options available in Sydney, NSW. Here are a few notable ones:

1. LivingWorks Australia - https://livingworks.com.au/

2. Mental Health First Aid (MHFA) Australia - https://www.mhfa.com.au/

3. Black Dog Institute - https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/

4. Lifeline Australia - https://www.lifeline.org.au/

5. Roses in the Ocean - https://rosesintheocean.com.au/

6. Wesley LifeForce - https://www.wesleymission.org.au/get-support/suicide-prevention/