Stage 3AN1 rectal cancer—gone. Now I’m healing, dreaming, and building The Cancer Chronicles Sanctuary: a space for real, in-the-moment stories, self-care tips, and light for anyone facing a cancer diagnosis. Ways You Can Support:

* Cheer us on and help spread the love* Donate to the GoFundMe or via Venmo @Jenni-Tooley* Share this post* Become a free or paid subscriber at JenniTooley.com

Together, we can make cancer a little less sucky.Love ya!Jenni:

Nine days post-ileostomy takedown surgery, deep in the bowels of recovery, and yet another denial letter from Social Security Disability shows up in my mailbox.

This episode is part truth-telling, part vent, and 100% real-life cancer recovery. I recorded it outside in the dark—cats meowing, frogs singing- hoping my bowels didn’t pick that moment to reve up again.

Because yes, there's a lot of pooping over here

But this episode isn’t focused on that.

This one is about what it’s like to go through a full year of cancer treatment—chemo, radiation, surgery (times two)—and still be expected to prove to a broken system that you're "sick enough."

That your healing isn't linear.

That your mental health matters.

That your body needs time, and so does your nervous system.

And that you deserve to access the benefits you’ve already earned.

I talk about:

* How I finally got real on my disability forms (diarrhea and all)

* The toll this year has taken on my body, mind, and spirit

* PTSD, anxiety, and the invisible layers of healing

* Why I keep showing up for this process even though I want to unhook from it completely

* And how abundance and love—real abundance and love—exist beyond these systems

This is a gentle reminder (for me, and maybe for you too): Just because the system is broken doesn’t mean you are.

✨And if you’re in the middle of your own fight—whether it’s with paperwork, poop, or the weight of it all—you’re not alone.

I see you. I feel you.And I’m rooting for you.

With love and cat kisses,Jenni 💗

Www.jennitooley.com

Community keeps this space alive I’m committed to keeping The Cancer Chronicles and everything at Jenni Tooley Presents accessible and free of paywalls.

If this episode moved you, helped you, or made you feel less alone—please consider:

💸 Sending a tip or donation

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* Zelle: jennitooley@gmail.com

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💖 Become a paid subscriberYour monthly support on Substack helps me keep creating, healing out loud, and offering this sanctuary to others.

We rise together. Thank you for helping me keep this space honest, raw, joyful—and truly supported.

Once again thank you to ChatGPT for making these show notes. I would not have been able to do this without that tool.

I’m tired so take a listen and know that you are loved.

Venmo: @jenni-tooley PayPal/zelle: jennitooley@gmail.com

Episode Summary:

Welcome back to The Cancer Chronicles. It’s Day Five post-surgery, and I’m still here in the hospital, riding the slow-motion rollercoaster of recovery. In this episode, I share the real, raw, and surprisingly hilarious journey of waiting for my body to… well… poop. (Spoiler: it’s a whole thing.)

We talk about NG tubes (hard pass), reverse ileostomies, passing leftover barium (yes, still), and how surviving doesn’t always mean thriving—but sometimes that’s okay. I reflect on the wisdom from a friend and veteran combat medic: “You will survive all the situations.” I walk you through how what he said is helping me find perspective, even in the weirdest, most uncomfortable moments.

Also: a life metaphor involving pomegranates. Yes, I said pomegranates. Blame the meds.

This episode is equal parts hospital-room confessional and late-night love letter to anyone who's in the thick of it—whether you're healing, helping someone who is, or just navigating the hard parts of being alive.

Wherever you are, however you’re doing: you’re not alone. And you are loved.

What You'll Hear:

* 🎯 Why I’m still in the hospital after ileostomy reversal

* 🥄 My journey from IVs to a fully loaded baked potato

* 💩 Poop talk (because that’s healing too!)

* 🧠 “You will survive all the situations” — and why that simple phrase shifted everything

* 💕 What love feels like when you're lying in a hospital bed

* 🌊 How I visualize love as an infinite river

* 🍷 Life as a pomegranate (yep—this makes total sense in context)

Mentioned in This Episode:

* The Barium Enema episode — listen if you dare. Or just… take my word for it.

* My friend Chris, a combat medic whose words snapped me back into perspective.

* My dad, who reminded me that sometimes intestines need a nap too.

Support + Connect:

💗 Find all things Jenni (podcast, zines, updates) at👉 www.jennitooley.com📣 Subscribe to The Cancer Chronicles Support Hub and be part of this living, breathing sanctuary.

Closing note:If you’re in a situation (or five), I hope this reminds you that you’re not broken. You’re not alone. You are surviving—and that, my love, is a damn beautiful thing.

💌 Until next time,Jenni

Welcome to another episode of Jenni Tooley Presents: Cancer Chronicles—where I bring you the sacred, the messy, the holy-s**t-that-actually-happened parts of healing from cancer.

This time, I’m taking you deep into the underworld. Not metaphorically—literally. We’re talking about my barium enema. Yep, I said it. And I lived to tell the tale.

In this episode, I share:

* Why a tube full of white chalky liquid got shoved where the sun don’t shine

* What happened before, during, and after (spoiler alert: pink barium is a thing)

* How my nervous system went into full-blown freeze mode

* Why chanting “Om Namah Shivaya” while clenching your butt is a next-level spiritual practice

* And how farting—yes, farting—has become my new favorite miracle

But more than that, I talk about what it means to hold onto your truth when the medical world—and sometimes even your own body—tells you you're "fine" when you're clearly not.

This is a raw one. It's also a reclaiming of voice, body, and breath. And if you’ve ever felt like you should be okay but weren’t, this one’s for you.

So pour a cup of something warm, find a soft place to land, and let’s get real about trauma, resilience, and why I’m never doing that again unless someone knocks me out first.

🪷 Mentioned in this episode:

* Mildred B.B. Puckrup (my beloved stoma)

* The Frankenstein Table of Doom

* Why we should ALL celebrate our farts

* A gentle reminder: “I stand for myself without standing against others.”

💌 Want more sacred stories with a wink and a wobble?Subscribe over at JenniTooley.com and join our sanctuary for soulful transformation (but it’s also fun—I can find humor in almost everything).

Help keep jenni tooley presents accessible to all and sustainable for us. If you have the capacity to make a financial contribution, please become a paid subscriber at www.jennitooley.com or send some digital love via Venmo: @jenni-tooley

Hi darlin!

Once again, keeping it simple. Here’s the breakdown. Listening is better because what I say between the bullet points is pure magic:)

* Stoma and ostomy success- let’s celebrate!

* Why I’m excited about having barium squirted up my butt

* Using the 3A’s to go from surgery PTSD to feeling good about it

* How deep listening and emotion code work healed a surgery trauma

* A few of the “other things” I used to kick cancer out of my butt including energy work, lymphatic massage, emotion code work, affirmations, and ancestral healing

* When a staple coming out of your butt is a good thing

* I’m not surprised I’m tumor-free but they are

* Making the decision that “this is how it is going to go”

As always, there is a transcript available- it’s a mess, but it’s there:)

Lotsa love, JenniThe barium enema that I have tomorrow will decide if I can move into the final phase of cancer treatment!

Want to take me out for a post-barium-enema-virtual lunch followed by an ice cream treat? Upgrade to a paid membership at www.jennitooley.com or become a founding member today! Or fill up the icecream piggy bank via venmo: @jenni-tooley or zelle: jennitooley@gmail.com

I promise, I’ll send pictures! (Not of the enema part, unless you’re into that:)

Welcome, once again, to our multi-faceted series: “in the heartlight”. Today we are finishing up (for now) our series of interviews with Mr. James of MrJames Workshop (aka Dalton) with a discussion about his video creation: “Creation”.

I’m going to keep this one simple. Let’s let the work and the spoken words speak for themselves🥰 I suggest you watch the video before listening to our conversation and then revisit it as we talk our way through it. (There is also a transcript- it’s a mess but you can check it out if needed!)

I hope you’ve been enjoying getting to better know him and the worlds he creates as much as I have, Jenni

Share the love by becoming a free or paid subscriber! If already a subscriber, you can manage your subscription by clinking on the “subscribed!” button below. You can also make a donation via venmo: jenni-tooley or zelle: jennitooley@gmail.com

If you missed the previous two interviews you can find them here:

Alright. I admit it.

This episode is not for the faint of heart. But nothing cancer or ileostomy related is, so pull out your vinyl Queen “Hot Space” album and sing along.

(Yes. Under Pressure” is on a Queen album, not a David Bowie album. Who knew?)

And if you want more raw, unedited, real accounts of what my experience has been like kicking cancer out of my butt, become a paid member of Jenni Tooley Presents. Or donate to the production fund via Venmo: @jenni-tooley or zelle/paypal: jennitooley@gmail.com

PS: This episode ends abruptly. I start talking about surgery PTSD. The dog starts barking. And “blam!” It’s over. I hope that didn’t trigger any PTSD for you- if it did, never fear, I will follow up on part 2. Imperfection rocks!

Jenni Tooley here. Reminding you that no matter what, life is goingto happen. If you're getting to the end of your rope, I am right there with you.

The good thing is, is that this too shall pass.Good, bad, or indifferent.This too shall pass.We are resilient.We are loved.And we have all kinds of support around us.It's just a matter of asking and receiving.Sometimes you don't even have to ask.Sometimes it just comes to you.Know that you are loved.

Join me for this episode of Cancer Chronicles as I sit in my car on the way to my post-surgical follow-up and chat about:

* Dealing with the frustration of making mistakes

* The anxiety of travelling with an ileostomy, knowing I’m about to run out of supplies

* Being patient with myself and grieving during transitions (nope it’s just part of the deal)

* This isn’t working, I must be doing something wrong

* Adaptation disorder

* Disability denials and the relief of bringing in the lawyers

* Eating with an ileostomy: bags under my eyes and 15 pounds lighter

* Finding the fun and beauty in things even when I’m tired and feel like s***

My goal is to share my experience, strength, and hope with others, helping them to find peace amidst chaos and to know that they are not alone. Support this goal and my no-paywall mission by becoming a paid subscriber or donating to the production fund via venmo: @jenni-tooley or zelle: jennitooley@gmail.com