Jamie Dimon says, Elon Musk says, robots love you, and Robby Starbuck’s new campaigns

DAMIONIn our 'That chainsaw better be filled with disgusting gas and oil and have really giant testicles' headline of the week. Tories vow to ‘take a chainsaw’ to ESG rules to boost London listings In our 'I tried to get Doug to buy a Haunted Mansion Lego Set for $89.99 but for some reason he wasn't really that interested' headline of the week. Affirm CEO says furloughed federal employees are starting to lose interest in shoppingIn our 'Meet subtle sexism, where a “stacked résumé” is treated like proof of competence for women, but men are assumed competent by default OR Meet subtle sexism, where a “stacked résumé” is mandatory for women, optional for men, and meaningless to those who call her a DEI hire' headline of the week. Meet Zara Rahim, the 35-year-old with a stacked résumé who masterminded Zohran Mamdani’s winning mayoral campaignIn our 'That half day on Thursday has been technically reclassified as “Soul-Throttling Half Thursdays"' headline of the week. Jamie Dimon predicts AI will shorten the workweek: ‘My guess is the developed world will be working three and a half days a week’ In our 'I'm sorry, what did you say? I have drilling fluids in my ears' headline of the week. Elon Musk’s Boring Company fined nearly $500K after it dumped drilling fluids into Las Vegas manholes—then ‘feigned compliance’ and was caught doing it againMATT1In our 'In a poll of nearly 1,000 musicians, bagpipes rated as "difficult"' headline of the week. ‘Difficult’ future for Great Barrier Reef under climate change, new model showsIn our 'Elon Musk says his robot is the ONLY way to eliminate poverty only after he gets $1 trillion' headline of the week. Elon Musk says Optimus will 'eliminate poverty' in speech after his $1 trillion pay package was approvedIn our 'Elon Musk says he's building a robot that could eliminate the bottom third of low income households if he gets $5 trillion' headline of the week. Bank of America: Nearly one-third of low-income US households are living paycheck to paycheckIn our 'Elon Musk says that his next AI will get you a sandwich and a beer from the fridge and promises not to talk about eliminating poverty during the football game if he gets $10 trillion' headline of the week. Elon Boasts That His AI Can Generate a Beautiful Woman Saying “I Will Always Love You”DAMION2In our 'Does "Musk-style" mean just outright greed?' headline of the week. EV maker Rivian gives CEO a Musk-style pay package worth up to $4.6 billionIn our 'Is the joke that I agree with the greedy guy worth 160 billion dollars or that we all fell for Warren's cuddly everyman routine?' headline of the week. Warren Buffett takes aim at Elon Musk's $1 trillion Tesla pay package, ace investor says 'envy and greed walk hand in hand'In our 'Hey Ma, the fake economist wealth hoarder is saying something important, turn your radio down!' headline of the week. Elon Musk warns Mamdani policies and ‘low’ universal income would trigger ‘catastrophic decline’ in US living standardsIn our 'College dropout wealth-hoarding culture-destroyer amazed that Hollywood wardrobe department at a movie studio in operation since 1924 for a director whose films have been nominated for 40 academy awards had the non-AI brain power to look at a photograph of him' headline of the week. Mark Zuckerberg says ‘The Social Network’ nailed his wardrobe: ‘Every single shirt or fleece they had in that movie is a shirt or fleece that I own’In our 'College dropout says humans are unique while his AI design company proves they aren’t' headline of the week. Figma CEO says Charli XCX's 'Brat' album cover is an example of why AI won't replace humans anytime soon MATT2In our 'Jamie Dimon says he never shits at work, his bathroom door doesn't have a handle' headline of the week. Jamie Dimon shares why he never reads text messages at work: 'I don't have notifications'In our 'Jamie Dimon says he never tokenizes deposit interoperability at work, he doesn't have the app' headline of the week. JPMorgan and DBS Explore Tokenized Deposit Interoperability in Quest for Multi-Bank FrameworkIn our 'At JUST Capital, we strive to foster an economy and society that works for Verizon... I mean, everyone. Yes, everyone. Not just Verizon. Maybe MOSTLY Verizon. Oh, Verizon ranks 17th in our top 100 rankings?? That's so weird, because we're here to help everyone. Not just Verizon.' headline of the week. JUST Capital Strengthens Board of Directors With Six Strategic AppointmentsThe six strategic appointments include not one, but THREE Verizon people: Dan Schulman (new CEO), Laxman Narasimhan (board), and Franz Paasche (EVP). In fact, we just talked about Pat Ruoss and Mark Weinberger in our Proxy Countdown as the MOST CONNECTED DIRECTORS IN THE ENTIRE US BOARD ECOSYSTEM - both on JUST Capital's board. In our 'ISS and Glass Lewis reported it was just a coincidence they are targeting the an individual director whose ...