It Was Never Just the Dishes: Mental Load, Gender Power, and the Truth About Modern Marriage with Kate Anthony on Divorce & Beyond #406

It was never about the dishes… It’s about mental load, invisible labor, and power inside modern marriage. To dig into why so many women feel this strain inside their marriages, Susan Guthrie is joined by Kate Anthony, a globally recognized divorce coach, feminist thought leader, and the author of The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage. Kate is also the creator and host of the top-ranked Divorce Survival Guide Podcast. Together, Susan and Kate talk candidly about how deeply ingrained expectations still shape modern relationships, often in ways people don’t recognize until the damage is done. They explore why patriarchy harms women while also isolating men, what real partnership actually looks like in practice, and how patterns like deflection, denial, and quietly erode trust over time. The conversation also addresses the very real impact these dynamics have on women’s emotional and physical safety, and why naming them clearly can be a powerful first step toward change. What You’ll Learn How mental load becomes a proxy for deeper issues of power, responsibility, and respectHow patriarchy shapes modern marriage in ways that harm women while also isolating men and fueling resentmentWhat real partnership looks like in practice and why occasional help is not the same as shared ownershipWhat it often means when one partner says they were “blindsided” by divorce and how invisible labor plays a roleWhy naming these dynamics clearly can be a critical first step toward safety, clarity, and meaningful change About the Guest Kate Anthony is a feminist thought leader, divorce coach, and author of The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage. As the host of The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast (3.5M+ downloads; globally ranked in the top 0.5%), Kate brings fierce clarity and grounded compassion to conversations about coercive control, codependency, and the complex dynamics that shape women’s relationships and choices. For well over a decade, Kate has guided women through the emotional and practical challenges of deciding whether to stay or leave their marriages, helping them rebuild self-trust, navigate high-conflict partners, and dismantle patriarchal conditioning. Her work blends feminist analysis, relational insight, and practical communication tools that empower women to make safe, self-led decisions. Kate is also developing a groundbreaking project exploring true crime as women’s survival literature, illuminating the coercive control patterns and systemic failures embedded in headline cases. Connect with Kate Anthony Website: http://kateanthony.com Instagram: @kateanthony_divorcecoach Make the Most of Your Listening Experience: If this episode resonates with you, be sure to: Subscribe to Divorce & Beyond so you never miss an episode.Share this episode with friends or loved ones who need hope and healing.Leave a 5-star review to help us reach even more listeners. Follow Us Online: Divorce & Beyond: https://divorceandbeyondpod.com,IG: @divorceandbeyondpod Meet Our Host Susan E. Guthrie®, Esq. is one of the nation’s leading family law and mediation experts, with more than 35 years of experience helping individuals and families navigate divorce and conflict with clarity and compassion. She is the Immediate Past Chair of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution, a best-selling author, and a sought-after speaker, trainer, and practice-building consultant. Susan recently appeared as the featured expert on The Oprah Podcast, where she shared her insights on gray divorce and the changing landscape of relationships. Her expertise has also been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, The Washington Post, NewsNation, and NBC’s Chicago Today, among many others. As the creator and host of the award-winning Divorce & Beyond® Podcast, ranked in the top 1% of all podcasts worldwide with more than 3.4 million downloads, Susan brings together top experts and powerful personal stories to help listeners move through divorce and beyond with confidence, insight, and hope. Learn more about Susan and her work at susaneguthrie.com. Divorce & Beyond is a Top 1% Overall and Top 100 Self-Help podcast designed to help you with all you need to know to navigate your divorce journey and most importantly, to thrive in your beautiful beyond! ***************************************************************************** A Smarter, Simpler Way to Navigate Your Divorce Looking for a clearer and more affordable way to move through your divorce? Check out Hello Divorce. Their guided online platform combines easy-to-follow tools with real legal and coaching support to help you complete your divorce with less stress, less confusion, and far lower costs than a traditional courtroom battle. They have created a special page just for Divorce & Beyond listeners. Explore your options at hellodivorce.com/susan. *************************************************************...