Is Your Athlete a Perfectionist? 5 Signs to Look For & How You Can Help

Does it feel like nothing your daughter does is ever good enough? She may win a game, set a personal record, or master a new skill, yet still criticize herself.

Perfectionism is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it can motivate athletes to improve, push harder, and reach higher goals. On the other hand, it can become overwhelming, causing emotional distress, frustration, and even avoidance of challenges. In this episode of Raising Elite Competitors, Coach Bre dives into the five key signs that your daughter may be a perfectionist and shares practical strategies you can use to support her.

You’ll learn how to identify these common perfectionist tendencies:

1. Beating herself up after mistakes – Coach Bre explains how the “snapback” routine can help athletes quickly reset, regain focus, and continue performing without letting one mistake define the rest of their game.

2. Never satisfied, even after wins – The episode covers ways to help your daughter practice gratitude, celebrate effort, and focus on progress instead of outcomes, reinforcing confidence and enjoyment in her sport.

3. Avoiding risks or playing it safe – Coach Bre shares strategies for helping your daughter take healthy risks, gradually build confidence, and learn that mistakes are manageable and part of the journey.

4. Big emotional reactions to mistakes – Emotional responses can be intense when performance feels tied to identity. Learn how emotional regulation, visualization, and mindful breathing can help athletes process setbacks.

5. Tying self-worth to performance – The episode explores ways to develop a supportive inner voice, including daily affirmations and mindset practices, so your daughter can care about her performance without letting it define who she is.

The insights shared in this episode give you the tools to understand your daughter’s mindset, provide the encouragement she truly needs, and help her thrive with confidence, resilience, and joy on and off the field.

Episode Highlights:

[00:02:25] Your athlete struggles to move on from errors and spirals into negative self-talk. Coach Bre shares how the Snapback Routine, a quick two-second reset using breath, a power word, and a signal, helps athletes bounce back fast and stay focused.

[00:08:40] Perfectionist athletes often play it safe to avoid failure. Bre explains how to help them build “risk-taking muscles” through low-stakes practice and praise for bravery over outcomes. The goal? Encourage effort, not perfection.

[00:11:20] When performance feels tied to self-worth, even small errors can trigger tears or meltdowns. Bre shares how parents can anchor calm: validate feelings first, then gently redirect. Be her “calm in the storm” instead of rushing to fix it.

[00:15:30] Perfectionism isn’t all bad; it drives growth and high standards. The key is helping your daughter let go of self-criticism while keeping her motivation. Bre invites parents to the TrainHerGame.com free training for practical tools to help their athlete find confidence without the crush of perfectionism.

Next Steps:

• Join our FREE Training for Sports Moms - How to Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter's Mental Game so She Believes in Herself as Much as You Do
• Visit our podcast website for more great episodes

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