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When we live in fear that others will abandon us, we often end up abandoning ourselves.

In this episode of Inner Work with MaryAnn Walker, we’re exploring the #1 fear of people pleasers: the fear of abandonment. This is part one of a two-part series where we’ll uncover how this fear develops, how it shows up in relationships, and—most importantly—how it leads to chronic self-abandonment.

If you’ve ever caught yourself silencing your needs, over-giving to prove your worth, or staying in unhealthy relationships just to avoid being alone, you’ll see yourself in this conversation. And you’ll begin to understand why these patterns leave you feeling more disconnected and unloved than ever before.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• Why fear of abandonment is the root fear behind people-pleasing.
• How past experiences—like conditional love or emotional neglect—train us to equate being alone with rejection.
• The painful cycle: fear of abandonment → people-pleasing → self-abandonment.
• 5 common self-abandoning behaviors that stem from fear of abandonment:
  • Overgiving in hopes of proving your worth.
  • Avoiding conflict to keep others happy, even at the cost of your truth.
  • Taking responsibility for other people’s emotions while neglecting your own.
  • Staying too long in unhealthy or toxic relationships out of fear of being alone.
  • Downplaying your needs to make yourself “easier to love.”
• Why these strategies create the illusion of connection but actually deepen disconnection and loneliness.

Challenge for the Week
Pay attention to the moments when you silence yourself, minimize your needs, or overextend to keep someone close. Ask: Am I abandoning myself right now out of fear that they might abandon me?

Work With Me

If you’re ready to stop people-pleasing and start building authentic relationships rooted in love and mutual care, I’d love to support you. Email me now at maryann@maryannwalker.life to check for availability.

Don’t Forget to Subscribe

Be sure to subscribe to Inner Work with MaryAnn Walker so you don’t miss next week’s episode, where we’ll explore how to shift out of fear and start cultivating relationships based on love, safety, and authenticity.

Connect with me!

Contact me: https://maryannwalker.life/contact-me
Follow on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/maryannwalker.life/
Follow on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/maryannwalker.life
Follow on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@maryannwalker.life

Related Episodes:

Should I Stay or Should I Go https://www.buzzsprout.com/2028767/episodes/16202567

You're Not for Everyone & That's Ok! https://www.buzzsprout.com/2028767/episodes/11162078

Empaths vs Covert Narcissists: Recognizing Energy Vampires https://www.buzzsprout.com/2028767/episodes/15664257

How to Recognize a Trauma Bond & Break Free For Good https://www.buzzsprout.com/2028767/episodes/17654108

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Do you ever feel like you’re working so hard, but somehow still not making progress? What if the thing that's holding you back smaller than you think?

Self-sabotage is sneaky. It can show up in tiny, everyday choices that keep you stuck, frustrated, and wondering why your efforts aren’t paying off. In this episode of Inner Work with MaryAnn Walker, I share a real-life lesson that turned into a powerful reminder: sometimes it’s not about making massive changes—it’s about one small tweak that can make all the difference.

Whether you’re a recovering people pleaser, an empath, or a highly sensitive person, you may notice self-sabotage showing up in your relationships, your goals, and even in the way you talk to yourself. The good news? Once you learn how to stop self-sabotaging, you’ll see how one small mindset shift and tiny daily habits can create big and lasting results.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

• Common self-sabotage patterns and how to recognize them.
• Why people pleasers often minimize their accomplishments (and how to stop).
• How avoiding conflict in relationships can actually create more conflict.
• Practical mindset shifts to break the cycle of self-sabotage.
• Why making tiny changes every day can lead to massive transformation.

Challenge for the Week

Ask yourself: What’s one small tweak I could make today that would have the biggest impact on my life? Maybe it’s speaking up sooner, accepting help instead of refusing it, or finally celebrating your own accomplishments.

Work With Me

If you’re ready to stop sabotaging your goals and start creating the results you really want, I’d love to help. As a life coach for empaths, highly sensitive people, and recovering people pleasers, I specialize in spotting the small shifts that can lead to big breakthroughs. Book your free clarity call today: https://calendly.com/maryannwalkerlife/freeconsult

Don’t Forget to Subscribe

Be sure to follow Inner Work with MaryAnn Walker so you never miss an episode. And if you found this helpful, please leave a review—it helps more helpers, healers, and people pleasers discover tools to stop getting in their own way and live with more confidence, clarity, and ease.

Want to connect on other platforms? I've got you!

Contact me: https://maryannwalker.life/contact-me
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Trauma Bonds: Why They’re So Hard to Spot, Why They Feel Addictive, and How to Break Free for Good

If you’ve ever wondered “Am I in a trauma bond?” or found yourself walking on eggshells, feeling extreme emotions in a relationship, and clinging to the hope things will go back to how they “used to be,” this episode is for you. We’ll explore how people pleasing as a trauma response can deepen trauma bonding and keep you trapped in toxic relationship patterns.

You’ll learn the difference between a toxic relationship vs trauma bond, and how trauma bonds often develop through love bombing, devaluing, discard, and sporadic reinforcement. We’ll also talk about the role of anxious attachment, why leaving can feel impossible, and exactly how to break free of a trauma bond so you can reclaim your peace and self-worth.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

💛 What a trauma bond really is and how it’s formed
💛 The “slot machine effect” and why sporadic reinforcement keeps you hooked
💛 How trauma bonds amplify people pleasing and self-abandonment
💛 The repeating cycle of love bombing, devaluing, and discard
💛 Common signs you may be trauma bonded (and how to tell)
💛 Why walking on eggshells becomes the norm in trauma-bonded relationships
💛 How anxious attachment fuels the cycle
💛 The truth about healthy love versus conditional, inconsistent attention

Challenge for the Week
Pay attention to your relationship patterns. Do the highs feel intoxicating while the lows drag on endlessly? Are you ignoring your own needs to keep someone else happy? Notice if your emotions swing from extreme highs to crushing lows. Write down your observations without judgment—awareness is the first step to change.

Work With Me
If you’re ready to stop asking “Am I trauma bonded?” and start breaking free from the cycle, I’d love to support you. In coaching, we’ll work together to untangle the patterns keeping you stuck and help you create relationships that feel safe, balanced, and mutually fulfilling. Click here to book your free clarity call: https://calendly.com/maryannwalkerlife/freeconsult

Don’t Forget to Subscribe
If you found this episode helpful, make sure you’re subscribed so you never miss an episode. Every week we explore the topics that matter most to recovering people pleasers, highly sensitive people, and anyone ready to heal from toxic relationship dynamics.

Connect with me!

Book Your FREE Clarity Call: https://calendly.com/maryannwalkerlife/freeconsult
Contact me: https://maryannwalker.life/contact-me
Follow on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/maryannwalker.life/
Follow on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/maryannwalker.life
Follow on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@maryannwalker.life