In this episode of In Search of More, I sit down with Ryan for an unfiltered conversation about money - not how to make it, but how to live with it.

We explore the ways we lose themselves in their relationship with money. Merging our identity with it. Trying to control it. Withdrawing and pretending it doesn’t matter. None of these paths lead to peace, and most of us move between one, two or all three of these.

We talk about how fear dresses up as responsibility, control disguises itself as wisdom, and why avoiding money is often bypass, not holiness. We get into what building a vessel for money truly means.

This isn’t a conversation about getting rich. It’s about staying whole while in relationship with money without letting it define us or drain us.

See you on the other side,

Eli

In this episode of In Search of More, I sit down with my friend Ryan. We’ve known each other nearly twenty years, but this conversation goes deeper than we’ve ever gone before.We talk about money, success, identity, and the parts of ourselves we’d rather not face. We’ve been through different versions of the grind, from street life to business to family, and we speak honestly about the choices that shaped us. The demons that didn’t take us out. The pressure and silence that often come with money, even when it looks like freedom from the outside.This isn’t a playbook. It’s a real look at what we inherit, what we earn, and what we’re forced to confront when life hands us both. If you’ve ever felt alone in your ambition or unsure what success is costing you, this one might land.A new chapter starts here.See you on the other side,Eli

In this episode, I sit down again with Rabbi Baruch Gartner who presents a clear framework for understanding shame not as a flaw, but as something built into creation, the “orlah”, the protective armor that eventually disconnects us from ourselves, others, and God. Drawing from Rebbe Nachman, Tanya, and the Baal Shem Tov, he explains how facing embarrassment is actually the gateway to joy, creativity, and reconnection.

From there, we explore money, one of the more challenging subjects. We talk about transformative giving, the relationship between business and Torah learning, and how money can either drown a person or elevate them, depending on the quality of their connection.

We then zoom out to the collective: baseless hatred, unity, exile, and healing. Rabbi Gartner shares a bold idea, that small pockets of genuine unity and sincerity can shift the larger story, not through perfection, but through real connection.

This conversation doesn’t fit neatly into a category. It’s part vulnerability, part mysticism, part challenge, and part personal struggle, an honest exploration of the blocks within us and the hunger for something more alive and true.

See you on the other side,

Eli