I’m Not Saying Yes… But I’m Not Saying No

Adam gives a quick rundown of his very off-brand Thanksgiving (minimal cooking, maximum mental break), but the highlight is his ongoing standoff with a certain bargain-bin retailer that keeps trying to book him. Every time they DM, he raises the price—“rates have gone up”—and he fully warns listeners: if you ever see him posing with questionable plastic goods, just know the check was life-altering. He touches on billionaires, lightly roasts Phil Rosenthal’s dad-joke stamina, and ends with some heartfelt gratitude and a call for everyone’s personal “sellout number.”

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