• Get the Newly Updated Podcast Roadmap Here!

You know that frustrating feeling where you know exactly what to do, but your ADHD brain just won't let you start? SAME.

If you've ever had a habit you wanted to keep but somehow couldn't, or found yourself doing something on autopilot that you'd really like to stop, this episode is for you.

Today we're talking about the 20-Second Rule: a deceptively simple framework for making good habits easier to start and unwanted habits just a little bit harder to access. The secret is in the friction.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• What the 20-Second Rule is and why it works so well for ADHD brains
• How to identify the "friction" that's quietly derailing your best intentions
• Real-life examples of removing friction (and adding it) that actually work
• How to do a Friction Audit on your own habits — right now

This is one of my favorite frameworks to use with coaching clients, and I think once you see it, you'll start spotting friction everywhere.

• Discover Your ADHD Overwhelm Type - Free Quiz!
• Join We're Busy Being Awesome (group coaching)
• Learn more about private coaching here
• Enroll in Overwhelm to Action - step by step course for ADHD Brains

• The Happiness Advantage - Shawn Achor
• Episode 192: How Tiny Habits Create Lasting Change (Big doors swing on little hinges)

• Discover my favorite ADHD resources
• Learn my Top 10 Tips to Work With Your ADHD Brain
• Access the I'm Busy Being Awesome Planning System
• Get the I'm Busy Being Awesome Podcast Roadmap
• Free course: ADHD Routine Revamp

This post contains affiliate links, meaning I may earn a small commission if you make a purchase through my links, at no extra cost to you. Disclosure info here.

If you enjoy the podcast, would you be a rockstar and leave a review? Doing so helps others find the show and spreads these tools to even more people.

1. Go to Apple Podcasts
2. Click on the I'm Busy Being Awesome podcast
3. Scroll down to the bottom of the page, where you see the reviews.
4. Simply tap five stars; that's it!
5. Bonus points if you're willing to leave a few sentences sharing what you enjoy about the podcast or a key takeaway from the episode you just heard. Thanks, friend!

00:00 Tiny Glitch Big Habit

01:29 Why Friction Matters

02:05 Starting Small Explained

04:25 The 20 Second Rule

07:24 ADHD Friendly Reframe

10:09 Friction and Podcast Roadmap

12:03 What Friction Looks Like

14:28 Real Life Friction Fixes

19:26 Run Your Friction Audit

20:37 Key Takeaways and Next Steps

21:55 Wrap Up and Resources

"There's no way you have ADHD." That's what the psychiatrist said to me, right before he laughed out loud. Why? Because I had a PhD, a job as a professor, and a marriage.

In his mind, my "success" canceled out my struggle. That moment was my first lesson in self-advocacy, and it sparked a journey that changed everything.

Ten years later, I'm sharing the 10 things I wish I could go back and tell that version of myself and anyone else navigating a late ADHD diagnosis. Today in episode 348, we're covering:

• Why understanding your brain's need for stimulation, cognitive flexibility, and working memory can transform how you approach daily life with ADHD
• How masking and rejection sensitivity quietly drain your energy and keep you stuck — and what to do about it
• The counterintuitive truth about self-acceptance and why it's the foundation for lasting change

• Discover Your ADHD Overwhelm Type - Free Quiz!
• Join We're Busy Being Awesome (group coaching)
• Learn more about private coaching here
• Enroll in Overwhelm to Action - step by step course for ADHD Brains

• Learn about Rejection Sensitivity Here
• Learn about ADHD Masking Here
• Learn about Working Memory Here
• Learn How to Deal with ADHD Boredom and Understimulation

• Discover my favorite ADHD resources
• Learn my Top 10 Tips to Work With Your ADHD Brain
• Access the I'm Busy Being Awesome Planning System
• Get the I'm Busy Being Awesome Podcast Roadmap
• Free course: ADHD Routine Revamp

This post contains affiliate links, meaning I may earn a small commission if you make a purchase through my links, at no extra cost to you. Disclosure info here.

If you enjoy the podcast, would you be a rockstar and leave a review? Doing so helps others find the show and spreads these tools to even more people.

1. Go to Apple Podcasts
2. Click on the I'm Busy Being Awesome podcast
3. Scroll down to the bottom of the page, where you see the reviews.
4. Simply tap five stars; that's it!
5. Bonus points if you're willing to leave a few sentences sharing what you enjoy about the podcast or a key takeaway from the episode you just heard. Thanks, friend!

0:00 Dismissed on the Phone: The Laugh That Started It All

1:54 10 Years Later: Birthday Reflection & Why This Episode Matters

6:13 Today's Format: A Letter to My Newly Diagnosed Self (10 Things)

7:57 Falling Asleep & Understimulation

10:52 Meds Help, But Pills Don't Teach Skills

14:04 Cognitive Flexibility: Why Transitions and Plan Changes Hurt

16:47 Notes Aren't 'Cheating': Working Memory, Lectures & the Teleprompter

20:55 The Exhaustion of Masking (and How It Gets Better)

23:19 When People Doubt Your Diagnosis: Trust Your Experience

25:25 Rejection Sensitivity: The Shame Spiral Behind Avoidance

28:07 Knowing Better ≠ Doing Instantly: Give Yourself Time to Change

30:10 Self-Acceptance Is the Real Catalyst for Growth

31:53 Your Emotions Are Not Too Much

33:22 Recap of the 10 Lessons

34:17 Closing: Reflect, Share, and Next Steps