If You’re Confused, That’s a Sign with Dianne Harris

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In this powerful and validating episode of My Self Care Sh*t, Kathy Love sits down with Dianne, a coach and author, for an honest conversation about emotional abuse, self-gaslighting, codependency, and rebuilding self-trust.

Dianne shares her personal journey through two divorces, including an emotionally abusive marriage that left her deeply confused, disconnected from herself, and doubting her own reality. Together, Kathy and Dianne unpack why emotional abuse is so hard to recognize, why people stay, and how healing begins—not with answers, but with awareness.

This episode is a reminder that confusion is not a personal failure.
It’s a signal.
And learning to trust yourself again is real self-care.

✨ What We Talk About

• Why confusion is one of the biggest red flags in unhealthy relationships
• Emotional abuse vs. physical abuse—and why emotional abuse is often minimized
• Self-gaslighting and how it slowly erodes self-trust
• The fixer / helper identity and how it keeps people stuck
• Shame, denial, and protecting a partner at your own expense
• Trauma bonding, love bombing, and lack of pacing early in relationships
• Rebuilding self-trust after emotional harm
• Why self-love and self-care are the foundation of healing
• Forgiving yourself for what you didn’t see sooner
• Choosing peace over appearances, money, or comfort

🧠 Key Takeaways

• If you’re confused, something matters
• You can love yourself and still abandon yourself
• Emotional abuse is real—even when it leaves no visible marks
• Self-trust is usually the last thing to return
• Healing is ongoing, not something you “arrive” at
• Peace is worth everything

📖 About Diane

Dianne Harris is a life coach who supports people healing from emotionally abusive relationships and rebuilding their sense of self. She is also the author of the upcoming memoir Love Bomb, a ten-year journey of love, denial, awakening, and choosing herself. Dianne works with both women and men and is passionate about bringing more awareness to the long-term impact of emotional abuse.

🎧 This Episode Is For You If:

• You feel constantly confused or second-guess yourself
• You don’t trust your instincts anymore
• You’ve been told “it’s not that bad”
• You stayed because you thought you could fix it
• You’re rebuilding after emotional harm
• You’re choosing peace—even if it costs you comfort

💙 Final Reflection

It’s amazing how little we’re willing to live with
just to have our peace back.

Take a breath.
Pay attention to what your confusion is telling you.
That awareness is self-care.

Source transcript provided by the user

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If you’ve been struggling with emotional codependency or want to learn how to establish a healthy balance of independence and vulnerability in relationships, join Kathy on this transformative journey. Be sure to subscribe to My Self-Care Sht* and leave a review!

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