If I Put Me First, Am I Selfish? Self-Love, Culture & Reinvention for Women

“My whole life was curated by design to create safety… but safety was my parents’ trauma.”

We’re told self-love is selfish. That “good” women, daughters, wives, and mothers put everyone else first — family, partner, community — and then maybe think about themselves. But what happens when that script leaves you resentful, exhausted, and living a life that was never truly yours?

In this powerful episode, Dr. Payal Beri sits down with Dr. Jasmine Escalera, Spiritual Neuroscientist, “Queen of Reinvention,” and founder of The Courage Crew, a global community for women reinventing their lives at any age.

Jasmine shares her journey from growing up in the projects of Brooklyn in the 80s and 90s to checking every box of the “safe” life (degree, six-figure job, marriage)… and realizing she was living out her parents’ trauma rather than her own truth. After divorce, a repeat heartbreak, and a move from New York to Miami, she rebuilt her life through radical self-love, boundaries, and daily choices to pick joy over fear.

If you’ve ever felt guilty for setting boundaries, afraid to disappoint your family, or torn between being the “good” one and being yourself, this conversation will hit home.

🔍 In This Episode, We Talk About:

• Safety vs. self-betrayal
• Growing up in the projects of Brooklyn
• Giving from your core vs. your overflow
• Guilt, boundaries & collectivist cultures
• Armor, vulnerability & failed relationships
• Checklist life vs. chosen life
• Moving to Miami & healing away from the origin of pain
• Resentment, parents & self-acceptance
• “I choose”: transformation in tiny moments
• Excuses, nervous system & comfort zones
• Community, allies & not cutting everyone off
• Dreaming of partnership after self-love

Connect with Dr. Jasmine Escalera:

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jasmineescaleracoaching Instagram
• The Courage Crew (reinvention community for women): join via links in her Instagram bio or search “The Courage Crew Jasmine Escalera”
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@drjasmineescalera

Connect with Dr. Payal Beri & Reframing Perspectives:

• Instagram – Dr. Payal: https://www.instagram.com/dr.payalberi
  
  
• Subscribe on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@payalberi?sub_confirmation=1
  
  
• RK Empathy: https://www.rkempathy.com
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/payalberi
• Speaking & Media: https://www.payalberi.com