I Work Hard To Be Happy: Intentional Living In Recovery

I work hard to be happy. It takes intentional daily choices for me. Living with invisible illness, whether it was alcoholism, anxiety, depression, or now my vestibular disability after stroke, means there is so much going on inside of me that no one else can see. There’s a mental, emotional, and physical load behind even simple things I do. So I must participate in happiness and not wait for it to happen to me. I make conscious choices to do the things that bring me joy, comfort, meaning, and connection, even when I don’t feel like it.

Happiness is getting dressed because I know I feel better when I get dooded up for the day. It is writing my book, recording my podcast, going to support groups, picking up the phone, making art, and practicing gratitude. It’s also knowing when to rest, when to say “not today,” and when to protect my energy. I can still feel grief, frustration, exhaustion, and fear, and choose to move in the direction of happiness anyway. That is the work.

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