I Don’t Usually Share Advice Like This: 6 Lessons on Making Any Relationship Work

In this episode, I’m getting brutally honest with you about relationships.

Our conversation begins with a question from a listener who asked me for advice on how to make your relationship go the distance in this messy modern world.

I’ve always shied away from giving relationship advice, mainly because after 26 years of marriage, I know the only secret is this: it takes a lot of consistent work.

I also don’t consider myself an “expert” on the topic because our relationship seems to always need attention. It’s so easy to silently retreat to your corners and not address the issues. And there were years where we did just that.

In fact, over the past few years, Chris and I have been working through some really heavy issues with a couples therapist.

Today I share very personal revelations I’ve had about my own role in causing problems between us. After all we’ve been through, I’m really proud of my husband, Chris, and me for making it this long and doing the work to make it better.

In the process of working hard to improve our relationship, I learned six powerful lessons that I felt compelled to share with you. Not because I hold the magic wand, but because I hope these lessons will save you the pain and heartaches I’ve caused myself and my husband.

No matter what kind of relationship you might be in, working on, struggling with, or hoping to save, these six lessons will provide a roadmap to make it better.

Whether you are married, dating, divorced, happily single, or experiencing a falling out with a friend, this episode will have something for you.

About halfway through, another listener asks,

“What do I do if my partner doesn’t want to do the work?”

In that case, there’s just one rule for when it’s time for you to move on.

Oh, one more thing, if you and your partner are having a hard time… Share this episode with them. It’s a simple way to open the door for a much-needed conversation.

Xo Mel

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• 0:30: The one question you often ask that I put off answering for a long time.
• 3:30: Here’s the hard truth you should know about my marriage.
• 6:30: Here’s what I think about “staying in a marriage for the kids”
• 8:30: The concerning relationship trend I see happening.
• 15:00: Would I be better off without my husband?
• 18:15: This is the only way relationships work out.
• 24:30: What I was doing wrong in my own marriage.
• 28:00: 6 pieces of advice for any relationship.
• 37:30: Here’s why the way you react to your partner’s good news matters.
• 43:00: What do you do when your partner isn’t growing with you?

Disclaimer

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So much truth!

My only question is what does being in love with someone look like and/or feel like? I’m 60 years old and am not sure I’ve ever been actually in love. I’ve been in a for 25 year marriage, several other relationships which lasted longer than 3 years each. I’m still not sure any of them were love. I know I love my children and my parents, but as far as other relationships, I’m just not sure.

Just what I needed to hear today

All six lessons were useful and important but my favorite to assume good intent on the other person’s part.

I too, am the asshole in the relationship!!

Part of the reason I love listening to Mel is because I identify soooo much with what she says. It’s like we share similar wiring. Everything is so relatable, including this episode.

Many thanks!