What does genuine forgiveness actually look like when you've been deeply wounded? In this raw, unfiltered conversation, we tackle the misconception that forgiveness simply means saying "I'm sorry" and moving on. Instead, we explore the painful, messy reality of what true forgiveness demands.

The journey begins with debunking common myths - most notably that "forgive and forget" appears nowhere in scripture. Biblical forgiveness involves cancelling a debt, not developing amnesia about what happened. This process costs us something significant: our right to justice or revenge. We discuss how forgiveness becomes especially challenging when offenses are repeated or when betrayal trauma is involved.

Our conversation gets uncomfortable as we navigate our own ongoing struggles with forgiveness. We share how resentment builds when hurts remain unaddressed, how boundaries protect us while we work on forgiveness, and why simply knowing the right approach doesn't make implementation any easier. The theoretical understanding of forgiveness collides with the practical reality of living it out daily.

For those struggling with forgiveness, we offer practical steps: acknowledging resentment, journaling to process emotions, understanding triggers, developing compassion (however difficult), focusing on the present, and seeking qualified support. We emphasize that forgiveness doesn't mean tolerating continued harmful behavior - boundaries remain essential.

The most profound insight may be that unresolved pain requires attention. When certain hurts continue resurfacing, they're signaling unhealed wounds that need addressing. For couples healing from betrayal, this often means creating space for honest conversation where the hurt person feels truly seen and understood.

Whether you're struggling to forgive someone else or yourself, this episode offers both compassionate understanding of how difficult the process can be and practical guidance for moving forward. Connect with us at hurtmeetshealer.com for resources to support your healing journey.

Thank you for listening! For more information about us and the services we offer, visit www.hurtmeetshealer.com.

Intro & Outro music written, performed, and produced by Kim Capps.

This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal, medical, or professional advice. The views expressed by the Host or any Guest(s) are strictly their own and in no way constitute legal, medical, or professional advice.
Copyright ©️ 2025, Hurt Meets Healer, LLC. All rights reserved.

The fog of betrayal can be suffocating. After discovering sexual infidelity, many partners find themselves gasping for air, desperately trying to make sense of their new reality while constantly being pulled back into chaos by ongoing deception. This powerful episode explores the lifeline of healthy detachment - a misunderstood concept that proves essential for survival and healing.

Kim shares her personal journey of needing to create space from John's persistent lies and manipulation, not as punishment but as self-preservation. "I needed safety. I needed to be able to sleep. I needed to not be lied to for a day," she reveals with raw honesty. The conversation distinguishes between healthy detachment (creating temporary distance to heal) and unhealthy detachment (manipulative withdrawal or permanent disconnection).

John offers the rare perspective from the betrayer's side, admitting how terrifying the concept of "detachment" can be for someone struggling with abandonment fears. "I missed the word 'healthy' when you were doing these steps for your own sake," he confesses, providing valuable insight for couples navigating this delicate territory.

The episode delivers practical guidance for implementing healthy detachment through self-care activities, boundary setting, and surrendering the impossible task of controlling another person's choices. Kim emphasizes: "Forgiveness is for us. Acknowledging our pain is for us. Setting healthy boundaries is for us." This powerful framework helps betrayed partners reclaim their identity beyond the trauma.

Whether you're struggling to breathe through fresh betrayal or still carrying wounds from the past, this episode offers compassionate wisdom for finding solid ground when everything feels like quicksand. Connect with us at hurtmeetshealer.com to learn more about walking alongside others on the journey from hurt to healing.

Thank you for listening! For more information about us and the services we offer, visit www.hurtmeetshealer.com.

Intro & Outro music written, performed, and produced by Kim Capps.

This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal, medical, or professional advice. The views expressed by the Host or any Guest(s) are strictly their own and in no way constitute legal, medical, or professional advice.
Copyright ©️ 2025, Hurt Meets Healer, LLC. All rights reserved.

What does healing look like after decades of sexual addiction and betrayal? In this raw and vulnerable episode, we pull back the curtain on our own marriage journey, sharing our "State of the Union" after 36+ years together.

The transformation we've experienced in just the past few months feels almost miraculous. We recently took two international trips that would have previously been minefields of triggers and conflict. Instead, we discovered a level of emotional intimacy we'd never known before—proving that real change is possible even after years of devastating hurt.

John opens up about his breakthrough realization: that the intimacy he'd been desperately seeking through sexual addiction could actually be fulfilled through genuine connection, mutual care, and shared experiences. This shift represents years of hard-won growth and therapeutic work that's dramatically altered our relationship dynamics.

For those walking through betrayal trauma, Kim speaks directly to the most painful aspect—the lies. "It's the lying that hurt worse than your actual affair," she reveals, addressing both the betrayed and those keeping secrets. "The best gift you can give your spouse if you want reconciliation is to tell the truth." This message comes from someone who endured countless discovery days and trickle disclosures over many years.

We don't sugarcoat the journey. Trust rebuilding after decades of deception is an uphill climb. Kim describes herself as "hesitantly hopeful" while maintaining strong boundaries. Yet we're both experiencing our relationship at its healthiest point ever—proof that with professional help, commitment to truth, and the courage to face our deepest wounds, healing is possible.

Whether you're the betrayed partner seeking hope or the one who's caused harm and wants to change, this episode offers both compassion and challenge. Connect with us at hurtmeetshealer.com to continue the conversation and find resources for your own healing journey.

Thank you for listening! For more information about us and the services we offer, visit www.hurtmeetshealer.com.

Intro & Outro music written, performed, and produced by Kim Capps.

This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered legal, medical, or professional advice. The views expressed by the Host or any Guest(s) are strictly their own and in no way constitute legal, medical, or professional advice.
Copyright ©️ 2025, Hurt Meets Healer, LLC. All rights reserved.