How to Read People at Every Stage of a Relationship—From an FBI Hostage Negotiator

Most of us step into dating and relationships hoping for the best, but hope isn’t a strategy. Reading people—really reading them—is a skill. It’s about spotting truth in the details, hearing what’s not being said, and learning how to navigate tension without blowing things up.

In this episode, I sit down with Chris Voss, former FBI hostage negotiator and author of Never Split the Difference. Chris has spent decades facing high-stakes situations where the wrong move could cost lives—and he’s here to show us how those same skills can transform the way we approach love, dating, and long-term relationships.

From decoding early red flags to negotiating the toughest conversations with your partner, Chris breaks down how to use empathy as leverage and communication as strategy. Whether you’re just swiping for a first date or you’ve been in a relationship for years, these tools will sharpen your instincts and strengthen your connection.

Here’s what you’ll walk away with:

• How to decode trust signals in the early stages of dating so you don’t confuse charm with character.
  

• The art of tactical empathy—how to use listening as your most powerful tool when emotions run high.
  

• Negotiation strategies for love that help you handle conflict, set boundaries, and deepen connection without turning every disagreement into a battle.

This conversation isn’t just about dating smarter—it’s about communicating like your relationship depends on it. Because in many ways, it does.

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES/RESOURCES

www.alternativescounseling.com

Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It―Unlock Your Persuasion Potential in Professional and Personal Life

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen.

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Watch this episode here on YouTube.