How to Prepare for College in High School: Building Resilient, Confident Teens

In this insightful and candid conversation, Shellee Howard and Laura Ollinger delve into the complexities of supporting teenagers and parents through the challenges of adolescence, particularly as it relates to mental health, identity, communication, and preparing for college. Laura, a certified teen and parent well-being coach and mother of four teens, combines life coaching and health coaching to help families thrive by building resilience and tackling obstacles. Drawing on personal tragedy, professional training, and real-life experience, Laura emphasizes the importance of proactive coaching versus reactive therapy, fostering healthy parent-teen communication, guiding teens in self-discovery, and managing the impact of social media. The discussion also highlights the balance parents must strike between setting boundaries and nurturing independence, the value of allowing teens to fail safely to build confidence, and practical strategies for families to establish healthy technology habits. Laura provides actionable tools, such as character strength assessments and values identification, to help teens articulate their identity—a crucial step in the college application process. The conversation encourages parents to engage with their teens compassionately and proactively and offers hope and resources for navigating this pivotal stage successfully. Highlights Laura Ollinger blends life and health coaching to support teens and parents in building resilience and overcoming challenges.Coaching differs from therapy by being proactive and goal-oriented rather than reactive to crises.Effective parent-teen communication involves finding a balance between warmth and boundaries, ideally through an authoritative parenting style.Allowing teens to fail safely is essential for developing confidence, calmness, and resilience.Social media’s impact on teens can be managed through balanced, collaborative family agreements rather than strict bans.Tools like the VIA Character Strengths assessment help teens discover their core strengths and values, aiding self-identity and college essay development.Positive psychology and NLP techniques empower teens to leverage their strengths in pursuit of their goals. Key Insights The Proactive Power of Coaching Versus Therapy: Laura clarifies that therapy is often reactive, addressing significant mental health crises, while coaching is proactive, helping teens set and achieve goals before problems escalate. This distinction empowers families to seek help early, preventing more serious issues and fostering growth rather than just coping. Coaching’s focus on strengths and accountability helps teens develop self-management skills essential for college and adult life. Parenting Styles and Communication Dynamics: The discussion around parenting styles—helicopter, avoidant, authoritarian, and authoritative—illuminates how different approaches affect teen development. Laura advocates for the authoritative style, balancing high warmth with clear boundaries. This style fosters autonomy and resilience in teens, but requires parents to self-reflect on their inherited patterns and consciously choose how to support their children’s independence while maintaining connection. The Importance of Allowing Failure: Laura stresses that failure is not just inevitable but necessary for teens to build resilience and self-confidence. Parents’ natural instinct to protect can unintentionally hinder growth. Embracing “failing forward” teaches teens that setbacks are opportunities for learning and personal development, which directly correlates with their ability to handle college pressures and life’s uncertainties. Identity Formation as a Foundation for College Readiness: Helping teens articulate their identity beyond surface facts is critical for college admissions essays and self-understanding. Laura’s recommendation to use tools like the VIA Character Strengths assessment and values card sort helps teens uncover their core traits and motivations. This process assists teens in finding authentic passions and goals, reducing anxiety over choosing a college major prematurely and promoting confidence in their own path. Navigating Social Media with Nuance and Empathy: Social media is a double-edged sword, offering connection but also risks such as anxiety, low self-esteem, and distraction. Laura advises against extremes of outright bans or laissez-faire attitudes. Instead, she promotes family conversations that establish mutual understanding and compromise, acknowledging teens’ need for social interaction while monitoring harmful content. Integrating social media use into positive family activities models balanced technology habits. Using Strengths-Based, Positive Psychology Approaches: Laura’s coaching leverages positive psychology and NLP to focus on what is right with teens rather than what is wrong. This strengths-based approach enables teens to creatively engage with ...