How to Have That Conversation You’re Avoiding

This week, a lot of us are heading into family time, which can be beautiful, but it can also bring up old patterns, old roles, old emotions. And while the holidays are not the time to sit someone down for a difficult conversation, they are the time when those conversations start to weigh on us.

So before we dive in, I want you to think of today's episode as grounding, as clarity, not as a call to action. This is about understanding your own emotional patterns, recognizing what gets activated around the people who raised you, and getting honest with yourself about what you need without feeling like you have to fix anything this week.

So as you listen, take what helps you feel steadier and leave the rest. There's no homework today, no confrontation plan, no conversation you should be having at Thanksgiving, just insight, just support. Let's get into it.

Ever find yourself replaying a conversation in your head—over and over—only to avoid it altogether? Maybe you want to tell a friend they hurt your feelings. Or ask for a raise. Or bring up that thing your partner said that’s still bothering you.

We all do it. But why? Why do we avoid conversations that could actually improve our relationships—and our lives?

Most of us dodge these talks because we fear conflict or don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. But avoiding the conversation doesn’t make the discomfort go away. It causes it to fester.

Today, I’m joined by someone who knows this terrain professionally and personally—my wife, Steph Sterling, LCSW. She also happens to be the most talented couples therapist I know.

In this episode, we unpack:

• How to tell if you’re avoiding a conversation out of fear or just waiting for the right time.

• The biggest mistakes people make when they finally speak up.

• How to navigate tough talks in a way that brings you closer together instead of pulling you apart (step-by-step).

Plus… Steph shares some stories about our own struggles that just might surprise you.

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES

www.alternativescounseling.com

Getting The Love You Want

Forbes Article: Are Your Employees Avoiding Difficult Conversations?

https://www.instagram.com/steph_sterling_lcsw/

https://alternativescounseling.com/meet-the-owners/steph/

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani.

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling

X:@DrDarcySterling

YouTube:@DarcySterling

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube.