How to Choose the Right Family Lawyer (and Avoid a $50,000 Mistake)

In Episode 5 of Dear Divorce Diaries, Darren “Daz” Mort and Joplin “Jop” Higgins tackle one of the most important decisions people make during separation: how to choose the right family lawyer.

The episode opens with the hosts explaining the podcast rules: they can’t provide direct legal advice, but they can discuss themes based on listener questions. The conversation is driven by questions submitted via TikTok and Instagram, focusing on the core issue of selecting a lawyer who will genuinely support you through the family law process.

Joplin explains that the relationship between client and lawyer is crucial. Separation is emotionally draining and often financially stressful, so you need a lawyer who is not only skilled but also someone you can work with for potentially two years or more. The hosts emphasise the importance of chemistry and trust, and encourage listeners to trust their instincts if a lawyer doesn’t feel like the right fit.

They discuss how to assess a lawyer’s suitability, including:

• Specialist expertise (trusts, businesses, domestic violence, trauma-informed practice)
• Experience and practical knowledge (not just “talking the talk”)
• The lawyer’s ability to manage complex emotional and mental health issues
• Firm structure and how cases are handled day-to-day
• Who will actually work on the file (junior lawyers, paralegals, support staff)

Daz highlights the importance of understanding who is handling the case when the principal lawyer is in court. He warns that many clients feel let down when they are left dealing with a junior solicitor they barely know, and stresses the need for transparency from the outset.

The hosts also discuss the practical side of legal fees, explaining:

• Cost agreements and what they cover
• Trust accounts and payment structures
• Fixed fees vs hourly rates
• The importance of understanding what is included in any fixed fee package
• The contractual nature of cost agreements and what happens if the case becomes more complex

The episode concludes with a reminder that choosing a lawyer is one of the most significant decisions in the family law process. The hosts encourage listeners to ask questions, seek clarity, and always trust their instincts.

Key Topics Covered:

• Why choosing a lawyer is the most important decision in family law
• Importance of personality fit and trust
• Long-term nature of family law cases (often 2+ years)
• Need for specialist expertise (domestic violence, trusts, business)
• Trauma-informed practice and social science knowledge
• Firm structure and who handles your case
• Importance of knowing support staff (secretary, accounts, juniors)
• Costs and cost agreements explained
• Fixed fee vs hourly rate
• How to avoid being trapped in the wrong legal relationship

Why This Episode Matters

Whether someone is just contemplating separation or deep into negotiations, this episode offers a grounded, compassionate look at what the process actually feels like — beyond forms and courtrooms. The blend of legal insight and emotional awareness helps listeners feel equipped, not overwhelmed, by the road ahead.

And because no two separations look the same, you can be part of the conversation.

Listeners are invited to submit their questions for Daz & Jop, with future episodes dedicated to answering real experiences, real challenges and real concerns from the people who need guidance most.

Whether you’re contemplating separation, navigating court, co-parenting, or simply trying to put your children first through the uncertainty — The Dear Divorce Diary Podcast offers steady, professional guidance to help reshape the path ahead.

Real law. Real families. Real conversations.

Subscribe, listen, learn — and know that you’re not alone.

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