How Strong Leaders Stop Taking Things Personally

Do you find yourself easily triggered in conversations with your team? In this episode, Shannon Waller explains why not taking things personally is a real leadership superpower. You’ll learn how to spot your triggers, pause before reacting, turn feedback into useful data, and keep your team creative, honest, and collaborative—even under stress.

Show Notes:

• Not taking things personally keeps you calm, confident, and fully present even when everyone else is stressed or reactive.
• Taking things personally usually means you’ve mistaken someone’s words or behavior as a verdict on your worth instead of information about them or the situation.
• When you stay centered, you naturally become more curious, collaborative, and open to problem solving rather than defending your ego.
• Leaders who take feedback personally quickly derail conversations because the focus flips from solving the issue to protecting egos and justifying decisions.
• Teams learn very fast what is and isn’t safe to talk about when a leader gets triggered, which shrinks honesty, creativity, and growth over time.
• Much of what feels like a personal attack is actually stress, unclear expectations, or clashing perspectives that can be resolved once everyone calms down.
• Internalizing criticism drains enormous mental and emotional energy that could instead fuel innovation and strategy.
• Emotional detachment creates a small but crucial space between stimulus and response so you can choose your reaction.
• Detaching is not apathy; it means caring deeply about the result while refusing to base your self-worth on anyone else’s mood or opinion.
• You can remind yourself that other people’s reactions are about their perspective and state of mind, not a measure of your value as an entrepreneur or leader.
• Highly empathetic leaders need clear internal boundaries so they can sense other people’s emotions without absorbing or acting out those feelings.
• When you feel triggered, it’s completely appropriate to pause, take space, and reset rather than pushing through an unproductive conversation.
• Recentering on the bigger purpose or result you’re creating together makes it much easier to drop ego battles and refocus everyone on progress.​
• When you stay grounded instead of triggered, you give your team permission to calm down, think clearly, and bring their best ideas forward.

Resources:

The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni

PRINT®

Never Split The Difference by Chris Voss

No Ego by Cy Wakeman

The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More by Jefferson Fisher

Jefferson Fisher on YouTube