How Kelly reclaimed her life from insomnia by stopping the fight with sleep and dropping the struggle with her thoughts (#73)

Kelly’s struggle with insomnia began after the birth of her first child. What started as one sleepless night quickly grew into panic-filled evenings and anxious days. The harder she tried to make sleep happen — through medication, supplements, holistic remedies, and strict routines — the more elusive it became. Sleep turned into an obsession, and every decision seemed controlled by fear of another difficult night. Things began to shift when Kelly discovered that her body wasn’t broken — it was the exhausting fight with insomnia that was fueling her struggle. She started to let go of rituals, loosen her grip, and give herself permission to live more freely. At first she worried that these changes might just be more sleep efforts in disguise. But with reflection, she realized the difference was in her intention: instead of chasing sleep, her actions were now serving her life. Kelly also transformed her relationship with thoughts. Rather than identifying with them or trying to push them away, she learned to notice them as experiences she couldn’t control — stories and sensations that didn’t have to dictate her choices. With less resistance, they lost their power. When she became pregnant again, insomnia returned. But this time, Kelly approached it differently. Instead of getting pulled back into an endless and exhausting battle, she leaned into acceptance. She reminded herself there was nothing she could do to force sleep, and gave herself permission to rest, watch a show, or simply allow the night to unfold. Slowly, the fear eased, her days opened up again, and sleep returned on its own terms. Today, Kelly no longer measures progress by hours of sleep, but by how little influence sleep has over her life. She’s free to live her life — and sleep takes care of itself. Sleep is, once again, effortless. Click here for a full transcript of this episode. Transcript Martin: Welcome to the Insomnia Coach Podcast. My name is Martin Reed. I believe that by changing how we respond to insomnia and all the difficult thoughts and feelings that come with it, we can move away from struggling with insomnia and toward living the life we want to live. Martin: The content of this podcast is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. The statements and opinions expressed by guests are their own and are not necessarily endorsed by Insomnia Coach LLC. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied. Martin: Okay Kelly, thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to come onto the podcast. Kelly: It’s a pleasure to be here. Honestly. Martin: When did your sleep problems first begin and what do you feel caused those initial issues with sleep? Kelly: November 18th, 2023 to be exact was the first night that I just woke up and I just couldn’t go back to sleep. Kelly: And my son would’ve been, he was a couple days away from turning three months. So I had just had a baby. I had a really traumatic pregnancy. Like I lived in the hospital for a month with him. He was early. I was a first time mom. There was just a lot of factors that I just had. I had a really difficult, like postpartum, first three months. Kelly: And so yeah, one night, like I said, my husband had been, he we had been taking turns with the baby so that I could get some sleep, which we’ll get into later. But it was very important to me to get some sleep, like too important. And so it was my turn to get some sleep and after a couple hours I woke up and I just couldn’t get back to sleep. Kelly: And I just spent the rest of the night like viciously trying to get myself back to sleep, which like, everything I know now, it’s so clear now how much that does not work. But at the time it was like, yeah, it was, I think it was midnight when I woke up, and then I just spent the rest of the night panicking. Kelly: I remember it like as clear as day. It was awful. And yeah, the next night was the same. I spent the whole day panicking about sleep. Obviously very tired and. I right then and there, all of the sleep efforts started so hardcore. I did a million things that day leading up to like, when I was gonna go to bed that was gonna help me sleep. Kelly: And I didn’t sleep at all that night. Not a wink. And yeah, that’s where my story begins. Martin: So were you at home at this time? Is this after you were back home from the hospital? Kelly: Yeah, we had just started getting into a pretty good routine. Like we would take turns, one of us would have the baby for a, a few hours and then we’d switch. Kelly: And so I was ...