How Abusive Relationships Shatter Your Identity & Cost You Your Voice

Ever feel like you can’t find “you” anymore? That you’re second-guessing everything, going numb, or swallowing your words just to keep the peace?

This week, psychologist Dr. Shahrzad Jalali joins Dr. Kerry to unpack how long-term emotional abuse scrambles your nervous system, erodes self-trust, and leads to identity confusion—and what actually helps you get “you” back. We trace the early red flags, why we repeat familiar patterns, and the body-level toll (sleep, gut, jaw, hypervigilance) that keeps you on edge.

PODCAST EXTRA EXCLUSIVE SEGMENT

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MORE ABOUT THE PODCAST EXTRA INTERVIEW

🔹 Two common trauma responses—flooding vs. minimizing: what to do if you either overwhelm others with pain or downplay what happened.

Dr. Jalali lays out a gentle, step-by-step plan that starts with naming what’s happening and accepting you’re not “overreacting.”

👉 Get immediate access to this extended interview: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse

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SHAHRZAD JALALI, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist. She completed an M.A. in Clinical Psychology (Marriage and Family Therapy) and received training during her internship in the field of addiction. She further received a Psy.D. in Clinical Psychology and completed a practicum training as well as pre-doctoral internship at a child and adolescent clinic, emphasizing human development and stages of growth. Dr. Jalali completed her post-doctoral fellowship in the adult track at several different private practices under the supervision of the numerous mentors specializing in depth work, couples’ and sex therapy, and trauma. She approaches her patients from a bio/psycho/social perspective that emphasizes the role of relationships in the evaluation of the sense of self.

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More About Dr. Kerry

Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D, a retired psychologist and author, is an expert on cultivating healthy relationships and deconstructing narcissism. Her blogs have been featured in Mamami, YourTango, Scary Mommy, and The Good Men Project.

In Love You More, Dr. McAvoy gives an uncensored glimpse into her survival of narcissistic abuse, and her workbook, First Steps to Leaving a Narcissist, helps victims break free from the confusion common in abusive relationships. She hosts the Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse podcast and offers trauma-related advice on social media.

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Disclaimer: This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice. If you are in crisis, please call 911 or your local emergency number.