197 One of the reasons so many marriages and relationships are not as good as they could be, or are really quite painful, is that we tend to approach our relationships in instinctual ways.

Since instinct often comes not from our inner wisdom (that intuition’s role), but from our inner protective patterning and our cultural conditioning, following our instinct in our relationship can often slowly –or quickly– erode the love and closeness in it.

The truth is that building and maintaining the best possible marriage with our partner entails a lot of things that are not instinctual—that are actually quite counterintuitive!

We want to embrace these counter-instinctual ways–and don't worry, over time they eventually do become natural or instinctual to do.

But to embrace them, you need to know what they are, of course!

So today I am going to share 18 counter-instinctual approaches or understandings that HEAL and CONNECT and lead to truly a fulfilling relationship with your partner.

You’ll also hear about how I followed my instinct in my first marriage until I ran into the ground, what the difference is between instinct, intuition, and skill, and how when I say counter-instinctual approaches I also mean cutting edge, and well, simply effective.

Seeing as the way we have been doing relationships for the last 70 years or more is obviously not yielding the loving, secure, mutually corroborating, deeply connected marriages we really want as women, tune in today and learn 18 of the counterintuitive things to understand and live out to make your marriage one you feel so RIGHT in, so at HOME in, and so much LOVE in.

SHOW NOTES:

• Take the FREE QUIZ: What's Your Best Next Step To Improve Your Marriage?
• Join Hannah for private 1:1 Marriage Coaching, and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever. Get started by filling out this form. SEE WHAT PAST CLIENTS HAVE TO SAY ABOUT WORKING WITH HANNAH HERE.
• See her on-demand relationship courses for HSPs here.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3)

196 Hope comes in various flavors. Some of them promote better relationships, and some drag them down. Hope can leave us helpless to change things, OR make us powerful agents of change in our marriages (and other areas of our lives, of course).

Today you will hear about the 2 kinds of hope that don’t help, and the 1 kind of hope that makes ALL the difference in your marriage–and in being able to make your marriage the loving one you want.

This episode is especially for you if you've been trying and trying to make changes in your marriage for years, but you aren't seeing any real lasting change for the better. Believe me, I have been there!!

Dive in to hear about what happens when we succumb to apathy, cynicism, futility, and despair, and how the way you might be relating to hope may be the same as just giving up.

Learn, instead, how I use what I call Active Hope to continue to make my marriage better and better, and how you, too, can harness it, so that you come away with a relationship to hope that will drive the best kind of change between you and your partner.

Everyone could use a good dose of hope and inspiration from time to time. This is yours today.

SHOW NOTES:

• Join Hannah for private 1:1 Marriage Coaching, and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever. Get started by filling out this form.
• See her on-demand relationship courses for HSPs here.
• FREE QUIZ: How Much is High Sensitivity Impacting Your Relationship (and are you even highly sensitive)? You want to know. Because, high sensitivity has a major impact on intimate relationships – for better or worse. Take this 3 minute quiz to discover if you're highly sensitive and how deeply it’s affecting you, and your happiness in your relationship. You will also get your next steps to making sure sensitivity works for your relationship, instead of against it.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3)

195 This may be one of the most important episodes you will hear to make your marriage the one you want it to be.

Especially if, like so many women, you wonder “Why should I be the one to do the work on our relationship?” Or you feel burdened or resentful that you seem to be alone in working on your marriage. Or if it just seems unfair that a lot of relationship advice is directed at women, when men have so much to learn when it comes to having a great relationship.

If you're feeling that way, I get it. I’ve been there. AND it is making it HARDER to have the loving, connected, mutually supportive marriage you want with your spouse.

In this episode, you’ll hear why. And why this line of thinking is leading to an almost epidemic of women being unhappy in their marriages.

What I want most is for you to feel deeply fulfilled in your relationship–and you want that too! So we’ve got to address this. Because trying to create deeper, better love from a sense of burden and resentment will never work.

You didn’t get married to just tolerate your relationship. You signed up for something way better than that. You want to truly enjoy your marriage. And like it or not, that means you WILL have to work for it, no matter how much your partner is also working on it.

But it can be fun, even joyful. In fact, in this episode, I share how I work on my marriage every single day---with joy, passion, and feeling like it’s a sacred honor that I GET to do–and how you can, too.

Listen to this episode to move past the burden and resentment that comes from feeling like you have to do this work with no or very little help from your spouse, and so you can feel truly empowered to do what it takes to make your marriage what you want it to be.

SHOW NOTES:

• Join Hannah for 4 months of private 1:1 Marriage Coaching, and get her deep, super individualized support to make your marriage more full of security, connection, love, and mutual support than ever. Get started by filling out this form.
• See her on-demand relationship courses for HSPs here.
• FREE QUIZ: How Much is High Sensitivity Impacting Your Relationship (and are you even highly sensitive)? You want to know. Because, high sensitivity has a major impact on intimate relationships – for better or worse. Take this 3 minute quiz to discover if you're highly sensitive and how deeply it’s affecting you, and your happiness in your relationship. You will also get your next steps to making sure sensitivity works for your relationship, instead of against it.

ENJOYING THE SHOW?

• Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Stitcher. Leave a review in Apple Podcasts--we are SO grateful!
• Get the Podcast Map by becoming a Podcast Supporter, so you can quickly identify the episodes most helpful for your unique relationship, by supporting the podcast (for as little as $3)