Hey White Women Podcast Por Daniella Mestyanek Young arte de portada

Hey White Women

Hey White Women

De: Daniella Mestyanek Young
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In this insightful and candid conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young, a scholar of cults, extreme groups, and extremely leadership, joins Rebecca, known as White Woman Whisperer on TikTok and Patreon, to delve into their experiences and revelations about cult dynamics, white supremacy, and systemic racism. Daniella, who grew up in the notorious Children of God cult and later served in the military, shares her journey of understanding and deconstructing white supremacy as a pervasive cult. Rebecca, a Black Jewish woman, discusses her own realizations about systemic racism and the similarities between white supremacy and cult behavior. Together, they explore the complexities of deprogramming from these ingrained systems, the importance of acknowledging privilege, and the power of vulnerability in fostering genuine understanding and change. This dialogue sheds light on the personal and societal challenges of breaking free from cult-like ideologies and the ongoing work required to dismantle oppressive systems.2024 Ciencias Sociales Filosofía
Episodios
  • Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Women Whisperer | 62 | Driving While White

    Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Women Whisperer | 62 | Driving While White
    Jan 8 2026
    In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca explore how whiteness, cult conditioning, and authoritarian systems shape fear, behavior, and identity, using car trauma, policing, and "common sense" social scripts as entry points. Daniella connects her evangelical cult upbringing to intense driving anxiety rooted in ritualized fear of death, while Rebecca situates car anxiety within racialized policing and survival awareness. From there, the conversation expands into white privilege as the absence of danger, the dehumanization embedded in rhetorical questions, and how "anti-identity" often becomes the first stage of deconstruction. They unpack how whiteness trains people to perform goodness, demand conditional care, and replace joy with moral misery, while cults function as an exaggerated but clarifying version of these same systems. The episode ultimately argues that joy, embodiment, and play are not frivolous, but actively suppressed, and that reclaiming them is essential to healing after cults, white supremacy, and authoritarian control. Connect with Rebecca at: Website Patreon TikTok Connect with Daniella at: Daniella's Patreon TikTok Instagram Website Youtube KnittingCultLady Store Preorder for Culting of America: The Culting of America PRE-SALE (SHIPS BY JANUARY 20, 2026) – Knitting Cult Lady Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young From Bookshop.org Autographed UnAMERICAN Videobook Key Takeaways Car anxiety can be a trauma response rooted in ritualized fear, not logic or skill. Whiteness often functions as the absence of certain dangers, not the presence of virtue. Policing anxiety is racialized; "safety" is experienced very differently depending on identity. Rhetorical questions are often tools of hierarchy, not curiosity or care. Early deconstruction frequently relies on anti-identity ("I will never be like them") before new models exist. Cult thinking and white supremacy share core features: conditional care, moral purity, and performance. "Good girl" privilege is a specific, gendered subset of white privilege. Moral misery spreads by recruiting others into hopelessness rather than action. Joy and spontaneity are systematically suppressed in white American culture. Performance is often the only sanctioned outlet for embodiment in authoritarian systems. Healing requires more than knowledge—it requires building new relational and emotional models. Rage and anger can be useful; misery is immobilizing. Reclaiming joy, play, and embodiment is an act of resistance. Chapters 00:00 Exploring Car Trauma and Anxiety 02:53 Cultural Perspectives on Police and Driving 05:49 Navigating Whiteness and Privilege 08:22 Deconstructing Identity and Cult Influence 11:08 The Process of Deconstruction 13:50 Parenting and Positive Reinforcement 16:33 Rhetorical Questions and Hierarchies 19:27 Moral Misery and Community Dynamics 27:17 The Nature of Girlhood: Performance vs. Experience 28:58 Joy and Healing Through Performance 31:30 Cultural Expectations and Spontaneity 34:13 The Role of Play in Different Cultures 36:44 Self-Perception and Code-Switching 39:25 The Impact of Lying in Society 42:17 Discrediting Voices: The Politics of Accountability 45:01 The Intersection of Identity and Experience 47:56 Flipping the Narrative: Gendered Perspectives 53:21 The Myth of Meritocracy and Hard Work 54:10 The Cult of Productivity and Childhood Prodigies 56:23 Healing Through Art and Self-Acceptance 58:38 The Myth of Being Fixed: Embracing Imperfection 01:01:50 The Fear of Public Speaking and the Need for Community 01:04:01 Cultural Differences in Public Expression 01:06:12 The Pressure of Perfection and the Value of Enjoyment 01:09:09 Redefining Work and Enjoyment in Life 01:11:37 The Challenge of Authenticity in a Performative World Produced by Haley Phillips
    Más Menos
    1 h y 19 m
  • Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 61 | Moral Superiority Binaries

    Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 61 | Moral Superiority Binaries
    Dec 19 2025

    In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca unpack the backlash following Jasmine Crockett's announcement that she's running for Senate, focusing on how quickly public support—especially from white women—turned into purity testing. They examine why Black women in power are routinely held to impossible moral standards, particularly around U.S. support for Israel, while white politicians are rarely scrutinized the same way. The conversation expands into how whiteness flattens complexity into good/bad binaries, how "moral superiority" becomes a performance, and how this dynamic ultimately protects harmful systems rather than challenging them. Drawing parallels to cult logic, respectability politics, DEI myths, and American exceptionalism, the episode argues that real change requires interrogating who we criticize, why, and when—instead of using critique as a way to feel righteous while doing nothing.

    Connect with Rebecca at:

    Website

    Patreon

    TikTok

    Connect with Daniella at:

    Daniella's Patreon

    TikTok

    Instagram

    Website

    Youtube

    KnittingCultLady Store

    Preorder for Culting of America: The Culting of America PRE-SALE (SHIPS BY JANUARY 20, 2026) – Knitting Cult Lady

    Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young

    • From Bookshop.org

    • Autographed

    • UnAMERICAN Videobook

    Key Takeaways

    • Jasmine Crockett's Senate run triggered rapid purity testing that exposed racialized double standards in political critique.

    • Black women in power are expected to embody moral perfection in ways white politicians are not.

    • Voting within a broken system is not the same as personally endorsing every outcome of that system.

    • Whiteness often collapses nuance into binary thinking: good vs. bad, pure vs. corrupt.

    • Moral outrage can function as a performance that replaces meaningful action.

    • Critiquing individuals instead of systems often reinforces the very power structures being opposed.

    • "Purity politics" mirrors cult logic by demanding ideological perfection and punishing deviation.

    • DEI backlash obscures the reality that white people—especially white men—have long been its primary beneficiaries.

    • American exceptionalism discourages people from imagining political collapse, change, or accountability.

    • Progress depends on asking better questions: who is being critiqued, for what purpose, and to what end?

    Chapters

    00:00 The Political Landscape and Representation
    02:31 Critiquing Political Figures and Systems
    05:06 The Role of Race in Political Discourse
    07:53 Purity Politics and Accountability
    10:46 Understanding Zionism and Its Implications
    13:28 The Complexity of Military and Political Critique
    15:57 Navigating Identity and Political Engagement
    18:43 The Impact of DEI on Political Dynamics
    25:01 Policing Perceptions and Motherhood
    28:06 Political Strategies and Accountability
    30:25 Imagining America: Leadership and Change
    34:52 Gift Giving Culture and Expectations
    47:06 Conversations on Change and Accountability
    55:36 Unpacking Ideologies and Personal Beliefs
    59:28 The Waiting Room: Transitioning from Cults to Community
    01:02:19 Addressing MAGA and Accountability
    01:04:51 Understanding Individual Experiences and Trauma
    01:10:33 Navigating Conversations Around Race and Feminism
    01:16:53 The Importance of Specificity in Discussions

    Produced by Haley Phillips
    Más Menos
    1 h y 18 m
  • Hey White Women with Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | 60 | De-radicalization

    Hey White Women with Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | 60 | De-radicalization
    Dec 11 2025

    In this episode, Rebecca and Daniella dive into how cult dynamics show up way beyond just "cults." Daniella shares pieces of her childhood in the Children of God and how those patterns of coercion, shame, and identity erasure followed her into adulthood—including her time in the military. They compare notes on how institutions, extremist movements, and even online communities use the same tactics to control people, and why so many folks get pulled into these systems in the first place. The conversation stays honest, nuanced, and very human as they talk about deradicalization, belonging, patriarchy, and the long, messy process of rebuilding your sense of self after leaving high-control environments.

    Connect with Rebecca at:

    Website

    Patreon

    TikTok

    Connect with Daniella at:

    Daniella's Patreon

    TikTok

    Instagram

    Website

    Youtube

    KnittingCultLady Store

    Preorder for Culting of America: The Culting of America PRE-SALE (SHIPS BY JANUARY 20, 2026) – Knitting Cult Lady

    Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young

    • From Bookshop.org

    • Autographed

    • UnAMERICAN Videobook

    Key Takeaways

    • Cults, extremist groups, and rigid institutions all rely on the same tools: shame, control, isolation, and obedience.

    • People don't join these groups because they're weak—they're looking for community, safety, identity, or purpose.

    • Perfectionism and purity culture keep people trapped by making them feel like they're never "good enough."

    • Leaving a high-control group doesn't erase the internalized rules; those scripts take time to unlearn.

    • Extremists almost never see themselves as extremists—they think they're doing the right or noble thing.

    • Institutions like the military can reinforce the same patterns of self-erasure and unquestioning loyalty.

    • Healing requires nuance; black-and-white thinking is part of what got people stuck in the first place.

    • Online spaces make radicalization easier by offering instant community and grievance-based belonging.

    • Patriarchy shapes how these systems recruit, punish, and reward people.

    • Rebuilding a sense of self is a long process that often starts with reconnecting to your body, not just your beliefs.

    Chapters

    00:00 The Struggles of Content Creation and Listening
    02:46 Engagement and Miscommunication in Online Spaces
    05:41 Community Care and Collective Responsibility
    08:38 The Value of Dignity in Work and Service
    11:25 The Complexity of Professional Identity
    14:16 Tradition, Culture, and the Constitution
    17:08 Navigating Social Dynamics at Thanksgiving
    19:59 The Importance of Curiosity in Understanding Cults
    24:54 The Complexity of Sharing Personal Stories
    27:46 Community and the Importance of Trust
    29:26 Navigating Urgency and Awareness in Conversations
    32:53 Military Choices and Racial Perspectives
    36:08 Brainwashing and Military Culture
    40:10 The Perception of Time and Future
    43:22 Understanding Whiteness and Its Implications
    47:07 The Incentive Behind Accusations
    51:20 Bridging the Gap in Conversations
    52:59 Understanding White Privilege
    56:42 The Impact of Innocence and Purity
    01:00:34 Navigating Conversations on Race
    01:04:18 Deconstructing Whiteness and Corporate Culture
    01:07:57 The Importance of Storytelling in Learning
    01:13:42 Embracing the Learning Journey

    Produced by Haley Phillips
    Más Menos
    1 h y 19 m
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