“Boundaries are an important part of budgeting, but so is flexibility. And the more humans you have in your family, or the more dynamics you have in your financial life, the more flexibility you need.”

What if there were a way to make budgeting less stressful and more sustainable? On this episode of Healthy Love and Money, our host Ed Coambs welcomes Natalie Taylor, a seasoned financial planner with over 20 years of experience, to share her unique insights on balancing boundaries and flexibility in family finances. Natalie’s innovative approach to budgeting emphasizes flexible boundaries, aiming to make financial planning adaptable and less burdensome for families with fluctuating incomes.

Ever wondered how to categorize and manage your household expenses without getting overwhelmed? Ed and Natalie break down the concepts of fixed and flex expenses, offering practical advice on maintaining control over your finances. From using dedicated credit cards for variable spending to handling kids' sports costs, Natalie provides a structured yet flexible framework that keeps financial surprises at bay.

Ed and Natalie then explore the often-overlooked concept of non-monthly expenses and how to plan for them effectively. Natalie shares actionable tips on setting up a dedicated account to manage these irregular costs, ensuring a steady cash flow throughout the year. They also touch on optimizing credit card points within a budgeting system and the value of financial intimacy. Take a moment to reflect on these insights and consider how they can be integrated into your life for better financial health.

Key Topics:

• Welcome, Natalie Taylor! (01:40)
• Budgeting and Managing Finances to Avoid Shame and Judgement (06:31)
• #1: Fixed Expenses (10:09)
• #2: Flex Expenses (15:20)
• #3: Non-Monthly Expenses (23:58)
• Potential Resistance to the Flow Perspective (30:54)
• Wrap-Up (37:50)

Resources:

• Natalie Taylor on LinkedIn
• The Goodland Group

Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

1. Schedule your free 30-Minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
2. Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
3. Buy the Double Award Winning Book: The Healthy Love and Money Way.
4. Hit Follow on Your Favorite Podcast Player To Get the Latest Episodes.

“Because we can’t avoid money, money is going to resurface [past trauma]. As grownups, we can predict, if not guarantee that money will surface or trigger these past associations.”

Unlock the hidden pathways between your financial decisions and emotional well-being with our host Ed Coambs and returning guest Amanda Clayman. In this enlightening discussion, Ed and Amanda look into the often-unspoken world of financial trauma, where seemingly unrelated spending patterns reveal deep-seated emotional connections. They bring to light the physiological similarities between financial and sexual arousal and the mysterious nature of dissociative splurges that often go unnoticed in our day-to-day lives.

Step into the complex dance of family dynamics, where childhood scarcity meets adult fiscal success, and emotions run high. Whether it's a simple family dinner or confronting parental expectations, you'll see how these experiences shape our financial narrative and the intricate web of feelings that emerge when money intertwines with our most intimate relationships.

The journey toward financial intimacy is not a straight line but a series of steps, each offering a deeper understanding of love and money. The episode concludes with an affirmation of growth and the therapeutic power of humor, when appropriate, to navigate life's complexities.

Key Topics:

• Financial Trauma and How it Affects us Today (02:37)
• Financial Dissociation and its Impact on Emotional State (06:41)
• Managing Emotions and Needs in Financial Decision-making (13:08)
• When to (and not to) Use Humor in Coping (19:46)
• Personal Growth, Vulnerability, and Overcoming Fear (23:58)
• Gender Roles, Ambivalence, and Emotional Labor (31:06)
• Money as a Symbol and Tool, with Personal Transformative Potential (38:15)
• Emotional and Symbolic Exploration in Financial Therapy (42:37)
• Healing through Nonlinear Processing (48:53)

Resources:

• AmandaClayman.com

Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

1. Schedule your free 30-Minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
2. Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
3. Buy the Double Award Winning Book: The Healthy Love and Money Way.
4. Hit Follow on Your Favorite Podcast Player To Get the Latest Episodes.

“That is how we should be thinking about the role of money in our lives - as a training kind of engagement, around, being able to not unconsciously react to things, but being able to stay in a regulated contextualized state as we're doing financial tasks.”

Have you ever caught yourself in a spiral of financial worry, only to realize that your bank account isn't the real issue, but rather the stories you tell yourself about money? Our host Ed Coambs is joined by fellow financial therapist Amanda Clayman, who guides us through the emotional labyrinth of our fiscal lives. Together, Ed and Amanda dissect the emotional underpinnings and self-regulatory challenges that shape our financial decisions. It's not just about the numbers on your bank statement; it's about the conversations we have with ourselves and within our relationships that often dictate our financial outcomes.

Our journey with Amanda doesn't stop at self-discovery; it's also a deep exploration of the roadblocks that keep us from seeing our true financial behaviors. Ever find yourself wondering why, despite best efforts, your finances seem to be running on a hamster wheel of stress and guilt? Ed and Amanda tackle the tricky business of financial blind spots and the importance of self-awareness, even when it leads to discomfort and a boomerang effect of shame. By understanding the fight-flight responses our bodies conjure up in the face of money woes, the financial therapist duo lay the groundwork for financial health that resonates beyond our wallets.

In a world where financial tension can strain even the strongest of relationships, how do we navigate the choppy waters without capsizing our emotional well-being? Ed and Amanda illustrate this with a candid look into financial trauma, drawing parallels with the delicate dance of arousal in both fiscal and intimate relationships. Listen in next week for part 2 of this conversation in which Ed and Amanda dig deeper into pre-conceived judgments, financial trauma, financial arousal with your partner, and more!

Key Topics:

• Welcome, Amanda Clayman! (01:47)
• Financial Anxiety, Insecurity, and Adaptation in Personal Finance (04:53)
• Financial Blind Spots and Self-Awareness in Therapy (09:44)
• Financial Security and Self-regulation Using Polyvagal Theory (15:51)
• The Importance of Emotional Connection in Financial Decision-making (27:42)
• How Financial Trauma Directly Affects Financial Decision-making (32:21)

Resources:

• AmandaClayman.com

Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

1. Schedule your free 30-Minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
2. Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
3. Buy the Double Award Winning Book: The Healthy Love and Money Way.
4. Hit Follow on Your Favorite Podcast Player To Get the Latest Episodes.