Halfway Home to Me

Almost 2 full decades under my belt and fifteen days into this journey, and wow — I’ve uncovered a lot.
So much of the past two weeks has been about reflection, healing, and being honest with myself about where I’ve been and who I’ve become.

But if there’s one thing I’ve realized as I’ve looked back… it’s that I’m learning how to let joy in again.

Not the big, perfect, picture-worthy kind of joy.
But the quiet kind. The small moments that catch me off guard — a song, a laugh, a blurry photo that reminds me I was present.

I’ve also learned that joy doesn’t always come naturally — especially when you’ve spent years focused on surviving, pushing forward, or trying to be “enough.” Sometimes, joy feels unfamiliar. Sometimes, it even feels like too much. And when you’re around people who aren’t on the same journey, letting yourself feel good can feel awkward… even selfish.

But I’m learning that it’s not selfish.
It’s necessary.
And it’s powerful.

These past 15 days have reminded me that healing isn’t just about unpacking pain — it’s about making room for light. For softness. For joy. Even if I still have to work at it. Even if some days are harder than others.

I’m not where I used to be. And I’m not quite where I want to be.
But I’m here — open, growing, and learning how to feel alive again.

And that feels like something worth celebrating.