Group Chat Anxiety (Part 1): Why Your Notifications Feel Like Emotional Homework

Have you ever picked up your phone and discovered a hundred unread text messages?

Likely you’re at the tail end of a group chat, and it kind of feels like walking into a party two hours late. You want to respond but wonder: will people be annoyed at you for backtracking? Maybe you even feel resentful for being added to this chat without consent.

Group chats can sometimes feel like you’re operating with one arm behind your back – but if you suffer group chat anxiety, I think it’s important to remember that it’s because you really care about your friendships.

This episode is the first segment of a two-part series on anxiety surrounding group chats: today, we’re talking about why group chats can be tricky to navigate, and in the next, what you can actually do about it.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• Why group chats are often used to satisfy a craving for connection but often fall short of delivering real connection people want
• The richness of in-person connection (Body language! Tone! Shared moments!) vs. the flatness of texting
• Different ways group chats can cause anxiety, from the public nature of having something you said responded to or ignored to lurker guilt
• The intensity overload of group chats, plus, different studies about texting and anxiety

Resources & Links

Listen to Episode 12 and learn about my theory about the Roots framework; Episode 100 about the Wheel of Connection; Episode 127 about using data to manage your friendship mental load; Episode 131 about the spectrum of digital connection; and Episode 134 about fringe friends.

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!