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Abish returns with a drink and a tale of gastrointestinal revelation, both from Joseph Smith and her own soul. Inspired by D&C 121’s wildly inappropriate phrasing—Joe pleading with God to “move His bowels” in compassion—she whips up the “Move Yo Bowels Mango Marg”. It’s a premixed mango marg, blended with ice, salt-rimmed glass, star sprinkles, orange and lime slices, and an optional mezcal floater for that fiery poop finale.

The intro spirals (as it should) into tangents involving fingernail trauma, sixth-grade revenge cookies laced with laxatives, and the correct Canadian term for a corn dog (it’s a pogo, and HR really tried to say that professionally). The chaos is unmatched.

Scriptures: [00:27:21]

aaaAAAaaa turns the Liberty Jail letters into a fully unhinged dramatic reenactment called “The Liberty Jail Dialogues” starring Joseph Smeagol Smith and God Gollum, the gaslighter. Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like. Joseph pleads for mercy, and God responds with cryptic threats, veiled insults, and a soft-launch of Mormon polytheism in the footnotes.

Key highlights:

• “Endure well” = divine gaslighting
• “We will exalt you” = Who is we, God??
• God dunking on Job again
• A full-on trauma checklist featuring wolves, pits, and crying children
• “Your oppressors will melt like the whore frost” (yes, that got a tangent too)
• Joe calling God out for having inconsistent vibes

It’s Joe having a breakdown in jail, writing weird poetry, and God answering like a dramatic theater kid who just read Dune.

Church Teachings: [00:45:54]

Abish steps in for Moroni and gives us the church’s spin on D&C 121’s priesthood and persecution rhetoric. She references a talk that turns divine chastisement into an emotional manipulation masterclass. Then, she answers a “Dear Abby” style letter from someone asking if they’ll still get blessings even though they’re bad at charity. Spoiler: the blessings are eternal, but the gaslighting is immediate.

Abish doesn’t shy away from pointing out how often the church uses “we’re persecuted” as an excuse to keep members loyal and distracted. She also critiques how priesthood power gets framed as both a sacred responsibility and a license to control—as long as it’s wrapped in “gentleness and meekness,” of course.

History: [01:10:32]

Abigail gives us a two-part historical descent into nonsense and murder. First up, the birth of chiropractic medicine, courtesy of D.D. Palmer, a magnetic healer who claimed he restored a janitor’s hearing by realigning his spine. If that sounds like a cult, just wait: his son, B.J. Palmer, took it mainstream—with a side of racism and anti-vax rhetoric. Yes, chiropractics were founded by ghost hunters with strong MLM energy.

Then we return to the ongoing drama of Mormon fundamentalists. Abigail covers the final chapter of the Allreds vs. LeBarons saga, ending in cold-blooded assassinations, prophetic chaos, and factions fracturing faster than a vertebra in a bad neck adjustment. Rena Chynoweth, a teenage bride turned hitwoman, testifies against her prophet-husband in a murder trial, and the whole thing ends up as a made-for-TV movie and a textbook case of “what the hell, Utah?”

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aaaAAAaaa kicks us off with a caffeine-laced theological sugar rush called Saith The Lord, inspired by D&C 117, which manages to say “saith the Lord” fourteen times in just sixteen verses. Subtlety? Not Joseph’s strong suit. This drink is what happens when camping leftovers meet divine inspiration: coffee vodka, Kahlua, Baileys, a splash of those bottled Starbucks mocha lattes, and whipped cream. You know, just like the pioneers drank on the trail.

Naturally, the drink segment spirals into topics like JoJo Siwa rage, the Ballerina Farm tragedy, the theology of ice machines, and how Neopets taught us the economy before D&C did. A classic chaotic intro.

Scriptures: [00:34:25]

Moroni returns with biting commentary on the absurd demands of early Mormon revelations. In D&C 117, Joseph tells Newel K. Whitney and William Marks to abandon all their businesses and property to move to Missouri—because God’s into minimalism now, apparently. And Olive Granger is left to mop up the financial fallout, but don’t worry, God will remember his name (unless He forgets it, in which case… sorry).

In D&C 118, mobs are burning towns and saints are getting evicted, but God’s like, “Hey, 12 Apostles, show up at the Far West Temple site next April. Then go preach in England.” Good luck with that itinerary, boys.

D&C 119 brings the birth of tithing—because what’s a restoration without a revenue stream? Saints are told to donate their surplus property (even though they’ve just been dispossessed and are broke), followed by 10% annually for the rest of their lives. And in D&C 120, the church leaders are given divine permission to play Monopoly with that tithing cash—zero transparency, infinite vibes. It’s the sacred origin story of the billion-dollar shell game we know and love today.

Church Teachings – [00:48:57]

Abish tackles how the modern church handles money and asks the question we’ve all been thinking: What the hell are they spending it on? Instead of bailing out real estate disasters or stockpiling in Ensign Peak vaults, maybe—just maybe—they could, say, fund education, feed people, or stop treating their $100B+ fortune like a divine hedge fund.

She drops a list of things that would be better uses of church tithing money than hoarding it in investments, including reparations, global aid, and basic human decency. Spoiler: the church doesn’t do those. But God definitely wants you to cough up 10% of your income so someone can build a redundant temple in West Jordan.

History: Rulon [01:24:07]

Abigail dives into the saga of Rulon Allred, spiritual successor to Joseph Musser and a key architect of post-Manifesto Mormon fundamentalism. Rulon turned priesthood keys into spiritual NFTs, claiming that his line of authority made him the one mighty and strong. He founded the Apostolic United Brethren (AUB), brought in new polygamist converts, and helped expand the theological scaffolding that justified plural marriage for decades after the mainstream church abandoned it.

Of course, like many fundy figureheads, Rulon had enemies—including rival sects—and was ultimately assassinated in 1977 by cultists sent by Ervil LeBaron (yes, that LeBaron). His legacy lives on in prepper enclaves, denim-heavy family portraits, and Utah basements stocked with powdered milk and patriarchy.

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Moroni steps up with Zion’s Crown, a drink that tastes like spiritual opulence and religious overcompensation. This royal elixir mixes Crown Royal Blackberry, Chambord, lime juice, simple syrup, ginger beer, and fresh blackberries. It’s festive, fruity, and apparently symbolic: blackberry for royalty and identity (shout-out to D&C 115’s full name drop of the church), simple syrup for Zion’s unity, and ginger beer for prophetic zing. And yes, the drink segment spirals into prepping tips, alcohol hoarding, and how Minnesota is about to be the new Mormon Valhalla.

Scriptures: [00:22:41]

Abish dives into the Isaiah fanfiction that is D&C 113, where Joseph Smith rides into Missouri and is like, “Let’s not talk about the failed bank or the mobs. Let’s talk about Isaiah—and guess what? Isaiah was talking about me!” It’s revelation by way of narcissism. D&C 114 brings the real drama: Joseph Smith excommunicates half the Quorum of the Twelve and various OGs (Oliver Cowdery, David Whitmer, Martin Harris, etc.) for being mad that his divine bank tanked and took their money with it.

And then we get the truth bomb about Thomas B. Marsh, and that he didn’t leave the church over stolen cream. That story? Made up years later by George Albert Smith to cover up the real reason—Marsh was horrified by the Danites, Joseph’s violent theocratic militia. He blew the whistle, testified to the Missouri government, and helped trigger the infamous extermination order. The church, not loving that PR, replaced him with a “cream skimming” cautionary tale and pretended his wife caused the downfall. It’s petty, inaccurate, and deeply on-brand.

Church Teachings: [00:57:04]

aaaAAAaaa unpacks the church’s spin on Isaiah—basically, “He was prophesying the Restoration, duh.” The church doubles down on Joseph’s re-interpretations, treating Isaiah like a 700 BC missionary tract. According to modern teachings, Isaiah was essentially Joseph’s hype man across centuries. The narrative avoids context, history, and Hebrew—because nothing kills the spirit quite like biblical scholarship. Expect more typology than logic and a whole lot of “Isaiah meant this all along, obviously.”

History: [01:14:26]

Abigail digs into Joseph Musser, the proto-fundy who helped launch modern Mormon fundamentalism. Musser was excommunicated for clinging to plural marriage long after the Manifesto made it unfashionable. He went on to organize splinter groups, pen doctrine-heavy screeds, and serve as one of the early architects of the Council of Friends, the group that eventually gave us the FLDS. His writings provided the justification (read: cover story) for polygamist sects and are still cited today by fringe groups.

Musser didn’t just leave; he franchised. His legacy is a roadmap of offshoots, splinters, and splinters of splinters, all clutching their 1886 revelation like a security blanket. Basically, Musser is the spiritual granddaddy of the guys in denim jumpers stockpiling dry beans and wives.

Follow us on Insta @gr8_and_spacious, Twitter @gr8andspacious, and Reddit u/gr8_and_spacious for behind-the-scenes shenanigans, hilarious memes, and maybe even a sneak peek at our next episode..
If you've got a burning question, a hilarious anecdote, or just want to say hi, shoot us an epistle at greatandspaciouspod@gmail.com.
And don't forget to like, subscribe, and leave a review of our podcast!