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aaaAAAaaa walked into this episode like a man determined to prove that rock bottom is not a location but a state of cocktail consciousness. Thus was born "The Rejected Offering" a hotdog martini that immediately triggered a collective, visceral “oh no” from everyone present. Built from ketchup, spicy brown mustard, muddled relish brine, lemon juice, vodka, and a hefeweizen float “for bread,” this drink was essentially a liquid Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest. Garnished with teeny weenies, it was more an act of performance art than a beverage. And of course, when the others revolted after their first sips, aaaAAAaaa — like Cain, but with a higher tolerance — drank all three.

Scriptures: [00:33:37]
Moroni took us through Moses 5, the moment the family of Adam graduates from “naked gardening” to “institutionalized murder and cult formation.” Using the Pearl of Great Price remix of Genesis — the version God allegedly showed Moses through a burning 19th-century VR headset — Moroni highlighted just how much of this chapter gets repurposed verbatim in the LDS temple endowment. The angel explaining sacrifice? The law-of-sacrifice phrasing? Eve’s “Wherefore, we rejoice…” line? Yep — straight from Moses 5.

We get the classic beats: Adam tills, Eve “also labors with him” (the scriptural equivalent of saying “she helped”), everyone starts having kids with everyone else, and suddenly Cain and Abel exist to reenact the world's first true-crime documentary. Moroni walked through Cain’s floor-fruit offering versus Abel’s blood sacrifice, God’s weird favoritism, and Cain’s bisexual-coded “Who is the Lord that I should know him?” before the inevitable rock-to-head fratricide. By the end, God curses Cain, darkness spreads, and the entire human family structure starts looking like a closed-circle Utah genealogy chart.

Church Teachings: [00:55:31]
Abish pulled apart how LDS doctrine diverges sharply from Jewish, Catholic, Protestant, and Islamic readings of Cain and Abel. Instead of the usual ambiguity about why Cain’s offering failed, Mormonism declares — with the certainty of a bishop who’s never read any other scripture — that Cain lacked faith, lacked sincerity, lacked righteousness, and possibly lacked good produce. Other traditions debate symbolism; Mormonism insists it was an obedience test with Jesus foreshadowing baked in.

She outlined the uniquely Mormon additions: Satan personally tutors Cain in Evil 101, the introduction of Master Mahan as the prototype of all future “secret combinations,” and the idea that organized global evil can be traced directly to Cain’s LinkedIn job title. Abish also highlighted how LDS materials have canonized Cain’s curse, his “mark,” and his role as the template for apostasy itself. And then, because this is GASP, she delivered the pièce de résistance: Master Mahan as a Joe Smith original, referenced twice in scripture and then never again, like a catchphrase from a failed 1830s sitcom.

History: [01:18:20]
Abigail kicked off a multi-week descent into the Satanic Panic, starting with the cultural soup of the 60s–80s: horror movies, the rise of the Religious Right, pop psychology’s obsession with “unlocking your inner trauma,” and the widespread misuse of hypnosis by therapists who should absolutely not have been allowed to possess clipboards.

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What started as a pie night turned into aaaAAAaaa dragging Abigail and Moroni into a full musical fever-dream about 90s Mormon Thanksgiving. We made a whole-ass AI musical — 15 original songs — and reacted to it live together like a group memory séance. Expect missionaries breaking rules in the basement, an operatic Jell-O salad declaration, the Second Coming of dessert, and the world’s longest prayer set to music. We laugh, wince, bond, and eventually crash back into the present… where we realize everyone went home and we’re the adults stuck cleaning. This may be the most unhinged, nostalgic, and heartfelt episode we’ve ever done.

Follow us on Insta @gr8_and_spacious, Twitter @gr8andspacious, and Reddit u/gr8_and_spacious for behind-the-scenes shenanigans, hilarious memes, and maybe even a sneak peek at our next episode..
If you've got a burning question, a hilarious anecdote, or just want to say hi, shoot us an epistle at greatandspaciouspod@gmail.com.
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Intro
Moroni kicked things off this week with a drink that was equal parts chaotic and on-brand. He walked us through his creation, the “Fig Leaf Martini”, a cocktail whose theological accuracy is at least as questionable as its citrus content. The intro drifted through pop-culture tangents, general unruliness, and all the normal pre-scripture mayhem that happens when he’s at the wheel — literally this time, since he recorded on the road.

Scriptures: [00:34:56]
Abish took us into Moses 4, and she did not hold back. She went line by line through the “Fall of Adam and Eve” narrative, but with the emotional realness that the text itself refuses to allow. She spent most of the segment interrogating how the church frames Satan’s access to the garden, God’s voyeuristic “Where art thou?” routine, Adam’s blame-shifting, Eve’s eternal PR disaster, and the downright bizarre sewing-fig-leaves-with-vines situation. She also brought receipts detailing just how incoherent, contradictory, and unresolvable modern LDS doctrine is on literally every part of this chapter. It was half theology deep-dive, half roast session, and fully unhinged in the best way.

Church Teachings: [01:04:56]
aaaAAAaaa decided to outsource his entire segment this week by reading a Q&A he had previously done with ChatGPT about Moses 4. What followed was one of the funniest “official-ish doctrine” breakdowns we’ve had yet. He hit everything: whether the Fall was scheduled, why the church retroactively calls Eve heroic while still throwing her under the cosmic bus, whether God is just a divine Peeping Tom spying on naked people who don’t know what naked is, and how the church squares Satan entering Eden through a snake door. It was chaotic, deeply doctrinal, and ended up revealing just how much of LDS theology is an ever-shifting patch job held together by vibes, correlation, and selective memory.

History: [01:27:11]
Abigail wrapped up the episode with the full cultural, political, and cinematic history of Satan — not the theological being, but the American invention. She traced how Cold War paranoia, the Manson murders, the rise of serial killers, the birth of the religious right, televangelists like Falwell and Robertson, and movies like Rosemary’s Baby, The Exorcist, and The Omen combined to manufacture the Satanic Panic pipeline. She walked us through how Mormonism, eager for social legitimacy in the 60s and 70s, grabbed onto evangelical “spiritual warfare” rhetoric and never let go. By the end, Satan had gone from ancient adversary to full-blown American pop icon, political boogeyman, and Relief Society cautionary tale. It was a tour through fear, folklore, mass media, and the uniquely American tendency to blame the devil for everything from feminism to disco.

Follow us on Insta @gr8_and_spacious, Twitter @gr8andspacious, and Reddit u/gr8_and_spacious for behind-the-scenes shenanigans, hilarious memes, and maybe even a sneak peek at our next episode..
If you've got a burning question, a hilarious anecdote, or just want to say hi, shoot us an epistle at greatandspaciouspod@gmail.com.
And don't forget to like, subscribe, and leave a review of our podcast!