God’s Top 10 Kill Streaks (episode 1)

Lot’s Wife, Onan’s Pullout Fail, and the Egyptian Baby Massacre

📝 Episode Summary:

Welcome to the blood-splattered kickoff of our new series, “God’s Top 10 Kill Streaks – Old Testament Edition,” where your favorite heathens dive headfirst into Yahweh’s most unhinged murder sprees. Starting at number 10, we salt-shame Lot’s wife who was turned into a sodium statue for the crime of looking back while her hometown gets nuked. That’s right: no name, no dialogue, just divine vaporization for having a human moment.

Coming in hot at number 9, we tackle the infamous case of Onan, who was smote for pulling out. Spoiler: this has nothing to do with masturbation and everything to do with inheritance, manipulation, and patriarchal BS. And rounding out this murdery trio, the pièce de résistance...

God’s mass execution of Egyptian firstborns (Exodus 12:29). Babies. Animals. Prisoners. All dead in one holy tantrum... and we celebrate it with freaking Passover? What the literal hell?

With plenty of righteous rage, historical breakdowns, and off-the-rails commentary (yes, there’s a “Girls Gone Wild: Seder Edition” tangent), we call out the hypocrisy of divine justice and ask: if God’s so powerful, why does he kill like a toddler throwing a fit? Don’t miss this episode if you like your theology with a side of “what the fuck?”

👉 Listen now at sacrilegiousdiscourse.com

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📌 Topics Covered:

• “Lot’s wife looked back—and God lost his damn mind”
• “Salt: not just seasoning, now also divine punishment”
• “Onan spills his seed and gets executed—calm down, Yahweh”
• “Spoiler: it’s not about masturbation, it’s about inheritance and patriarchy”
• “Egypt’s firstborns get mass murdered… and we made it a holiday?”
• “Collective punishment: still God’s favorite kink”
• “Modern leaders would be tried for war crimes—but Bible God gets worshiped”
• “Does God really need blood to feel loved?”

💬 Best Quote from the Episode:

“God’s trying to teach love through mass murder—and somehow, we're the immoral ones?”

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