Have you ever worked so hard to fix a problem in your marriage, only to find yourself right back in the same place weeks later?

Most couples don't struggle because they aren't trying.

They struggle because they're putting a lot of effort into changes that can't create lasting results.

In this episode, Dan explains what it actually means to work smarter on your marriage, not harder. Drawing from systems theory, personal experience, and real coaching stories, he shows why some changes help temporarily while others lead to real, lasting transformation.

He breaks down the difference between first-order change (doing more or less of the same things) and second-order change (upgrading the rules your relationship is operating on).

You'll learn how to recognize when you're stuck in surface-level fixes, how to identify the unspoken "rules" your marriage is operating by, and what it looks like to make changes at the level that truly creates growth—especially around intimacy, desire differences, and recurring conflict.

• Next Level Loving: A Virtual Intimacy Getaway (Feb 13-14): https://getyourmarriageon.com/next-levels-virtual-lovemaking-retreat/
• Get Your Marriage On Coaching Program: https://getyourmarriageon.com/program/
• Intimately Us & Just Between Us apps (Valentine's Intimacy Challenge coming up!): https://getyourmarriageon.com/our-apps/

What if ADHD isn't a bug in your marriage — but a feature?

In this episode of the Get Your Marriage On Podcast, I sit down with Kamden Hainsworth, an ADHD coach and host of the Busy Brained Saint, to unpack how ADHD uniquely impacts desire, intimacy, novelty, rejection sensitivity, and emotional regulation in marriage.

Kamden shares her mid-life burn out, late ADHD diagnosis, and how understanding her brain completely transformed her marriage and sex life. Together, they explore why ADHD can amplify desire differences, why boredom feels unbearable in intimacy, how rejection sensitivity dysphoria shows up in sex, and how novelty can be a powerful connector (when done with trust and communication).

Whether you're the ADHD partner or married to one, this conversation offers clarity, compassion, and practical insight into building a more playful, honest, and deeply connected sexual relationship.

• 101 Ways to Initiate Sex
• The Sexploration List
• Get Your Marriage On Coaching Program: https://getyourmarriageon.com/program/
• Men's Only and Women's Only Cohorts (starting this week): https://getyourmarriageon.com/events/
• Intimately Us & Just Between Us apps (Valentine's Intimacy Challenge coming up!): https://getyourmarriageon.com/our-apps/

Guest Links

Kamden ADHD coaching

Instagram:

@kamden_adhd

@thebusybrainedsaint

Disclaimer: The opinions and values expressed by guests on the Get Your Marriage On! podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions and values of the host. Appearance on the podcast does not imply an endorsement of the guest or their products by Get Your Marriage On or its host. While we work hard to bring you quality and valuable content, listeners are encouraged to use their own best judgment in applying the information or products discussed on this podcast.

What's the difference between pursuing your spouse and pressuring them, and why does it matter so much for desire, attraction, and connection?

In this episode, Dan joins Sean on the Dad Improvement Podcast for an honest conversation about what actually creates passion in marriage, and what quietly kills it.

You'll hear why emotional connection must come before sexual connection, how pressure can either destroy attraction or build it (depending on how it's expressed), and why pretending everything is fine does more damage than honesty ever could.

This episode is especially for husbands who want more intimacy but don't want to become needy, entitled, or emotionally disconnected in the process — and for couples navigating desire differences without resentment.

Stick around to the end, because now it's time for Dan to share his black belt sex tip!

• Valentine's Day Weekend Virtual Retreat
• Men's Only and Women's Only Cohorts (starting end of January): https://getyourmarriageon.com/events/
• Intimately Us & Just Between Us apps: https://getyourmarriageon.com/our-apps/
• NEW Get Your Marriage On! Cruise: October 2026