From Misdiagnosed to Understood: How Seeing Autism Changed Everything

When a “surprisingly easy” relationship meets the chaos of new parenthood, even strong couples can hit unexpected walls.

In this episode, Jodi sits down with Amy—a therapist—and her husband Mike, who was identified as autistic later in life. Together, they unpack how a “perfectly compatible” pre-baby routine masked Mike’s autistic needs—and how everything changed when their first child arrived, sleep disappeared, and burnout began.

What followed was a five-year detour through misdiagnosed depression, unhelpful therapy, and even a formal assessment that incorrectly labeled Mike with schizoid personality disorder instead of autism.

With help from fellow clinician Laura Schreiner, Amy and Mike finally pieced together the autism puzzle and began rebuilding their marriage through understanding, not blame.

They share how small, practical changes—like scheduling downtime, using a “battery gauge” to show energy levels, and rethinking communication—helped reduce conflict, ease burnout, and strengthen their connection.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn

• How early “compatibility” masked autistic needs

• What triggered burnout and misdiagnosis after parenthood

• The difference between depression and autistic burnout

• Simple home adjustments that reduced conflict

• How humor and empathy helped them reconnect

About Amy & Mike

Amy and Mike have been together for 18 years—long before Mike’s late identification as autistic. When they began searching for resources, they were struck by how few hopeful perspectives existed for autistic adults and neurodiverse couples. That gap inspired their shared commitment to advocacy and education.

Mike is a husband, father, and autism advocate whose work includes serving as secretary of a disability organization, appearing on podcasts, and writing What Does Your Face Mean?: An Informational Memoir on Late-Diagnosed Autism (forthcoming).

Amy is a licensed therapist in Illinois and a coach for out-of-state clients. She specializes in supporting autistic adults, their partners, and parents raising neurodivergent children—and trains other clinicians to better understand adult autism and neurodiverse relationships.

📧 Contact Amy: [e-mail] 🌐 Learn more: prairiewellness.org

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👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd

Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for neurodiverse relationships to thrive—and the pitfalls that can derail them.

She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers clarity, confidence, and lasting change.

👉 Explore free resources, quizzes, and courses at Jodi's website.

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Your support helps more people find the clarity they need in their neurodiverse relationships.