There is a message I keep getting in my DMs, and it breaks my heart every single time.

It’s too late for me to make friends. I’m too old. I’ve messed up. I missed the boat.

I get why people feel this way. Societel messages lead us to believe there is a point in our lives when, if we don’t have the community connections we want, then we will never have them.

But if you’re on the shore, watching your boat cruise away, I want to share with you a little secret: there is always another boat. The key is to stop thinking of friendship and community as something “happening” to you and instead as something you are actively building.

One of the joys of being an adult is that you get to CHOOSE who you are surrounded by. How to start? Literally, from any place, under any circumstances.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• The challenges of transitioning from surface-level friendships to deeper, more meaningful connections
• My tackling the limiting belief that there isn’t enough time to build friendships, even if you’re only living in a place temporarily
• Why it’s never too late to change patterns and grow new roots with new or old friendships
• When social anxiety, a major life shift, or feeling “out of practice” makes social situations feel awkward – and my advice for this

Resources & Links

Listen to Episode 12 about emotional intimacy roots, Episode 69 about learned loneliness, and Episode 49 about navigating small talk.

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

Lots of people tell me they want couple friendships – you know, those picture-perfect foursomes you see in movies, where everybody gets along effortlessly.

Here’s the truth: couple friendships are complex! Why? Because you’re not just making friends couple-to-couple. You’re actually building FOUR SEPARATE FRIENDSHIPS at the same time.

My husband and I have lots of couple friendships – probably more than 20 – and they range from old friends to new friends, close friends to casual friends. Some we might have over for dinner, some we travel and spend holidays with.

This episode covers the real dynamics of couple friendships: what makes them work, what complicates them, and how to strengthen them over time.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• The different dynamics to manage in couple friendships, including individual friendships in the couple and the dynamics when all four are together
• Being aware and respectful of the different levels of closeness within the group; it might be a combination of present friends, historic friends, familiar friends, etc.
• How to find couple friends, from leaning into existing friendships to meeting new people in your community
• Navigating complications with couple friendships, from life changes (a move or the introduction of kids) to divorce

Resources & Links

Listen to Episode 28 about adult slumber parties with Dr. Erika Michalski.

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

Calling someone you haven’t spoken to in two years isn’t weird; it’s just being human.

Today’s guest is Jacob Marquez, also known as J. Henry, a Seattle-based tech entrepreneur and musical artist whose approach to relationships challenges a lot of conventional friendship wisdom.

Jacob is the founder of Seattle’s Best Brunch, bringing creatives together to collaborate and spotlight each other’s work, and he’s developing an app that helps people nurture their relationships.

What drew me to Jacob wasn’t what he was building but how he approaches connection. He’ll call someone out of the blue after years of silence, and he thinks that friendships can be reciprocal – even if one person talks about themself the whole time.

Our conversation touches on everything including low-maintenance friendships, systems for connection, and the impact of redefining intimacy, and I think it will have us all thinking twice about our assumptions regarding how friendship should work.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

• Jacob’s work in community connection, including Seattle’s Best Brunch and his app, Connect, which provides systems for staying connected
• The different systems each of us uses to track and maintain friendships; plus, why it’s important to be open to change and growth in our friendships as time goes on
• Different ways friendships can actually be reciprocal – even if you don’t think they are at first glance!
• The entrances into different communities you could be finding just by being open and communicative about what you’re looking for

Resources & Links

On Instagram check out Jacob’s personal Instagram and his account for Seattle’s Best Brunch.

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!