If you have insomnia, you already know this:

An anxious thought can feel like a threat.

Not just an idea.

A threat.

And when your brain senses a threat, it does what it was designed to do.

It activates.

It mobilizes.

It keeps you awake.

That is why thought-challenging helps sometimes.

But it is also why thought challenging is not enough.

Because there will be nights when the thoughts keep coming.

Even if you challenge them perfectly.

So you need a second skill.

You need a new relationship with your thoughts.

This is what mindful acceptance of thoughts is for.

It is also called defusion.

Defusion means you stop being fused with your thinking.

You stop being inside the thought.

And you become the observer of the thought.

You still have the thought.

But the thought has less power.

Defusion does not erase thoughts.

It removes their authority.

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Defusion becomes easier when you understand two things.

Fact 1: Thoughts are input, not reality.

Fact 2: Thoughts are impermanent.

Let's break them down.

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Fact 1: Thoughts are input, not reality

Most people treat thoughts like facts.

If the thought says, “This is going to ruin me,” it feels true.

But thoughts are often just mental noise.

They are offerings from the brain.

They are suggestions.

They are predictions.

They are alarms.

Sometimes they are useful.

Sometimes they are wrong.

Sometimes they are old fear patterns firing again.

The key move is realizing you can receive a thought without obeying it.

This matters at night.

Because insomnia thoughts often demand action.

Take something.

Google something.

Change something.

Fix something.

Force something.

Defusion helps you pause before you act.

And that pause is where your freedom returns.

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Defusion tool 1: Labeling “thinking”

Here is the simplest defusion tool.

You notice the thought.

And you label it.

You say, “Thinking.”

That's it.

That is the whole technique.

It sounds too simple.

But it is powerful.

Because labeling breaks the trance.

It pulls you out of the story and into awareness.

It reminds you that this is a thought, not a prophecy.

If “thinking” feels unnatural, use another phrase.

“I am having a thought.”

“I am having the thought that I won’t sleep tonight.”

This creates space.

Not by fighting the thought.

But by stepping back from it.

Then you choose what to do next.

You might return attention to your breath.

Or to a sound in the room.

Or to the feeling of your body in the bed.

Or to a calming activity.

The point is not to win an argument.

The point is to stop feeding the thought with panic.

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Fact 2: Thoughts are impermanent

Thoughts change constantly.

Even when you are anxious.

Even when the content feels repetitive.

If you watch your mind for five minutes, you will see it.

One thought becomes another.

A memory becomes a plan.

A sensation becomes a story.

A story becomes a fear.

This matters because insomnia thoughts feel permanent.

They feel like they will last forever.

And that feeling creates more fear.

When you remember thoughts are temporary, you stop treating them like forever.

You stop acting as if you must solve them right now.

A thought is like the weather.

It can be intense.

It can be loud.

But it passes.

Sometimes slowly.

Sometimes quickly.

But it passes.

And when

Managing anxious thoughts deserves special attention.

Anxious thoughts are one of the main drivers of insomnia.

It is common for anxious thoughts to ramp up as night approaches.

It is also common for them to surge again in the middle of the night.

For many people, one single thought can trigger a full-body alarm response.

And suddenly you are not just awake.

You are fighting.

You may feel like you are walking on eggshells in your own mind.

Because one wrong thought feels like it will set off an avalanche.

This is where a considerable amount of insomnia suffering comes from.

Not just the tiredness.

Not just the wakefulness.

But the way your mind interprets it.

And reacts to it.

Your relationship with your thoughts determines how much Dirty Pain (the emotional pain that we unwillingly amplify and feel during insomnia) you experience.

There are two main ways to work with anxious thoughts.

Both require mindfulness.

Because you have to notice what you are thinking to respond differently.

Enter Thought Challenging.

Thought challenging means you do three simple things.

You notice the thought.

You recognize that it might not be accurate.

You test it rather than automatically believing it.

This is especially useful when your mind is catastrophizing.

Because catastrophizing feels real.

Even when it is not.

Here is a classic insomnia thought.

“I won’t be able to get through tomorrow if I don’t sleep tonight.

A helpful challenge is not fake positivity.

It is a realistic perspective.

You can remind yourself of the times you slept badly and still got through the day.

You can remind yourself of the times tomorrow was not as bad as you predicted.

Here is another classic thought spiral.

“If I don’t sleep tonight, I won’t sleep tomorrow either.”

“Then it will keep getting worse.”

“Eventually, I will never sleep again.”

“And then I will fall apart.”

This thought feels intense.

But it is not grounded in reality.

When you challenge thoughts like this, you bring in what you already know.

Your body has a sleep drive.

It builds with wakefulness.

And it will force sleep to happen before you can go too long without it.

You also remind yourself that insomnia is miserable.

But it is not a death sentence.

And it is not proof that you are broken.

Thought challenging is how you interrupt the mental snowball before it becomes panic.

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A simple thought-challenging process

You can do this quickly.

You do not need to journal for an hour.

You need to slow the spiral down enough to see clearly.

Start here:

What is happening right now.

Then ask this.

What story am I telling about what is happening right now.

Name the emotion.

Fear.

Frustration.

Dread.

Hopelessness.

Give it a number from 1 to 10.

This matters because it helps you notice shifts.

Now challenge the thought.

What are other explanations besides the worst one?

What would I say to a friend in this exact situation?

Is this thought entirely accurate based on what I know about sleep and insomnia?

How likely is the worst-case scenario, really?

If tomorrow is hard, what will I do to cope?

Then check again.

Do I feel any different?

Did the number shift at all?

Even a small shift matters.

Because it lowers the Sleep-Stopping Force.

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The limitations of Thought-Challenging

Thought challenging is helpful.

But it is not the whole solution.

There are two reasons it often falls short.

First, thought challenging does not automatically undo...

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Insomnia creates intense discomfort.

Fear.

Helplessness.

A sense of being trapped.

But…

Consistent good sleep comes from caring less about sleep.

That may sound impossible right now.

It may even sound threatening.

But it is learnable.

And it is one of the most powerful shifts you can make.

When you care less about how you sleep, your nervous system settles.

When your nervous system settles, sleep becomes possible again.

This is where mindful acceptance comes in.

What mindful acceptance actually is

Mindful acceptance is not passive.

And it is not giving up.

It is the skill of noticing what is happening in your experience and choosing not to fight it.

It is mindfulness plus acceptance.

Mindfulness means recognizing what is happening right now.

Thoughts.

Emotions.

Body sensations.

Acceptance means allowing those experiences to be present without struggling against them.

This matters because insomnia is fueled by resistance.

Resistance to being awake.

Resistance to discomfort.

Resistance to uncertainty.

The more you resist, the more your nervous system becomes activated.

An activated nervous system does not sleep.

When you stop fighting what you cannot control, the threat response begins to shut down.

That is not philosophical.

It is biological.

Clean pain vs Dirty pain

A useful way to understand this comes from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.

It distinguishes between Clean Pain and Dirty Pain.

Clean pain is unavoidable.

Fatigue.

Frustration.

Disappointment.

Anxiety about the future.

These are part of being human.

Dirty pain is what we add on top.

Catastrophic thinking.

Self-criticism.

Endless mental replay.

Trying to force feelings to disappear.

Letting insomnia dominate your identity and choices.

Most of the suffering of insomnia is Dirty pain.

And Dirty pain is optional.

Mindful acceptance is how you reduce dirty pain.

The Tug of War exercise

One of the clearest ways to understand acceptance is through the tug-of-war metaphor.

Imagine you are in a tug-of-war with insomnia.

The insomnia monster is massive.

Strong. Relentless.

There is a deep pit between you.

You are gripping the rope with everything you have.

Pulling. Straining. Terrified of losing.

You believe that if you just pull hard enough, insomnia will disappear.

But the harder you pull, the harder it pulls back.

You are exhausted.

And still stuck.

This is what fighting insomnia feels like.

Now imagine something different.

Instead of pulling harder, you drop the rope.

The monster does not vanish.

But the struggle ends.

You are no longer at the edge of the pit.

You are no longer using all your energy to fight.

This is acceptance.

Not winning.

Not fixing.

But stepping out of the battle.

And when you do that, your nervous system finally has a chance to calm down.

Dropping the rope in practice

You can practice this any time.

During the day. At night.

When anxiety spikes. When frustration hits.

Pause.

Notice what is present.

A thought. A feeling. A body sensation.

Now notice how you are fighting it.

Tensing. Arguing. Trying to escape.

Then imagine the tug of war.

And imagine dropping the rope.

Let the sensation be there without trying to change it.

Breathe normally. Allow space.

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