Foregiveness is not Permission

ForLoveness | Episode 2: Forgiveness is Not Permission

Hosts: Taylor and Ryan

Welcome back to ForLoveness! In this crucial second episode, hosts Taylor and Ryan tackle a common point of confusion: the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. This lesson, though relatively short, is deemed one of the most important in the series.

The Core Distinction:

Building on the previous episode (where they discussed how an unforgiving heart suggests an unforgiven heart), Taylor and Ryan clarify that forgiveness is primarily an internal act of grace. It is a "transaction of your heart," mirroring God's grace toward you. However, forgiveness is not permission to be continually hurt.

• Forgiveness vs. Trust: Forgiveness is cancelling a debt, while trust is the "wage they have to earn based on what they have done".
• Internal vs. External: Forgiveness happens inwardly, releasing the "poison of bitterness" in your soul. Reconciliation and trust are external matters between you and the person who hurt you.

Biblical Wisdom and Setting Boundaries:

The hosts stress the need for Christ-like wisdom and prudence. Forgiving someone does not require you to forget or stay in a dangerous or abusive situation. Protecting yourself and your loved ones from harm is a God-given responsibility.

We explore several key verses:

• Protecting Your Heart (Proverbs 4:23): You must "Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life".
• Prudence (Proverbs 22:3): The prudent "see danger and take refuge," while the simple "keep going and pay the penalty". This affirms that setting boundaries are okay.
• The Shrewd and Innocent (Matthew 10:16): Be "as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves," meaning discerning and practical.
• Repentance (Luke 17:3): "If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them, and if they repent, forgive them". Full relational reconciliation is linked to genuine repentance.

Key Takeaways for Safety and Freedom:

The hosts warn that the concept of "forgive and forget" has been used as a weapon to silence victims and keep people in abusive situations, distorting the gospel. You can forgive, releasing anger to God, while still setting boundaries and staying safe.

The essential lesson is that a person who forgives demonstrates a "heart of mercy," and the need for wisdom demonstrates a "mind that protects". Though you must forgive, you are not required to reconcile with someone, especially if they are unrepentant. Remembering past harm is necessary to prevent further harm and avoid enabling sin.

Keywords:

• Forgiveness is not permission
• Christian boundaries
• Reconciliation
• Trust
• Wisdom and prudence
• Guard your heart
• Abusive situations
• Enabling sin
• Biblical wisdom
• Repentance
• Spiritual fast (mentioned in the introduction as background context)
• Matthew 10:16
• Proverbs 4:23
• Unforgiving heart

Next Week on ForLoveness:

Next week, we tackle Forgiving Yourself Under the Cross. This is the episode where the entire series originated and is one you definitely won't want to miss.