Find Your Actor Friends

Here’s your moment of mindfulness — right up top — so you can find it easily!Hello and welcome back to the Aligned Actor PodTubeStack.That's what I'm now calling this because I think it's fun, I like combining words, and nobody can stop me.Just as a reminder, I'm Amy Schloerb. I'm a mindfulness and mindset coach helping actors ride the rollercoaster of being an actor without throwing up — instead, gracefully moving with all those twists and turns and ups and downs and all of that stuff — so that we can have more satisfying, more fulfilling, calmer, more stable lives in general.This is part two of A Letter to Young Actor Amy: Find Your Actor Friends.Let’s dive in and see what I wrote to myself back in the day…Having some actor pals is really, really helpful when you’re starting out. These people are gonna “get you” - they’re gonna be cool if you make plans and then have to cancel because an audition comes up. They are gonna be people you can share information and resources with (headshot photographers, classes, agents, workshops). They also will understand stuff about your career that your family and non-actor friends just never will. So, for example, let’s say that you keep getting called into audition for the same casting director a dozen times, but you keep not booking. Your family might think, “what’s wrong with you? Why can’t you convert?” BUT your actor friends are gonna know that you’re really good, this casting director obviously is a HUGE fan of your work, and for whatever reason, the right role just hasn’t come up for you yet. So, your actor pals are gonna be able to help you stay smart and optimistic about your career and your craft, where as your family might have you spiraling down, and questioning yourself — “Maybe I really suck, maybe they’re just bringing me in to make the other actors look better, maybe I need to change my look or my skills or whatever…” — when the truth is, you just need to take a breath, acknowledge that, yeah, it’s frustrating to not book, but ultimately celebrate the fact that you’ve made a pretty big fan in the industry (in this casting director) and you’re certainly on a successful journey as a professional actor (just a little callback there).Where do you find actor friends? I found mine in an improv community and acting classes. If you’re coming out of a college or conservatory program, maybe see if there are alumni living in your market. When I was first starting out, Facebook wasn’t public yet, but now there are all kinds of groups there and you can follow casting directors and class studios and see what looks good to you. But seriously, get in a class, which is actually my next piece of advice…But you will have to wait for that advice because first we have to talk about this advice…This is absolutely all still true. Good actor friends are the best. There is nothing like a group of good actor friends who understand you, who know what it's like, who can commiserate with you when things are not going so well and who can celebrate with you when things are going really, really well.Actor friends are amazing and you need actor friends in your life.You can still find these folks in classes, workshops, search the hashtag #SelfTapeMay to follow them on social media, you can find them in film festivals, improv shows, and sketch shows. They're out there. They're waiting for you. You need them and they need you, so find your people.For humans in general, having social support is a huge help in terms of handling stress, which all humans deal with, and actors are humans too — newsflash!Actors also deal with a unique form of stress that only other actors really understand:Rejection…performance anxiety…last minute memorizing and audition prep when you're already exhausted from your day job and other stuff you have going on in life…battling traffic to get to that callback…pressure from your family like, "Well, when are you going to be on my TV next? When are you going to make it?"The list is just endless, right? #IYKYKThere's a lot of stress when it comes to being an actor.Your actor friends are gonna help you with that stress, and having really strong social support from peers and colleagues who get you and understand the realities of being an actor is really, really important.You want actor friends who understand the nuance of being pinned, or on hold, or on avail, but then being released, which BOTH absolutely sucks AND is such a great sign that you are doing absolutely the right thing, and you're a fantastic actor. But it still really sucks and it hurts like hell, and NOBODY really gets that particular, nuanced, “both/and” situation better than your actor friends.You want actor friends who are excited to read with you for self-tapes, maybe even last minute or really late at night because that's the only time you have to get that done. You want to like working with them, feel safe working with them...