What happens when desire meets doctrine and neither will back down?

In this episode of Excavations, Connie Chen sits down with Colten Barnaby for a wide-ranging, unfiltered conversation about the tangled roots of faith, sexuality, and identity. They dig into what it means to grow up Christian with a body full of desires you've been taught to distrust, how worshiping a male God shapes the way we relate to ourselves and others, and why shame doesn't just disappear when you leave the pew.

From trans theology to the violence embedded in liberation, this conversation refuses easy answers, and wrestles honestly with scripture, pleasure, body image, and the communities that formed (and sometimes deformed) us.

Because you can't excavate your faith without excavating yourself.

Connect with us:

• Colten Barnaby on Instagram, Tiktok, Substack
• Connie Chen on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube

Help sustain my work and this podcast on Patreon

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Join Connie Chen and Dr. Tamice Spencer-Helms for a rich conversation exploring hospice work as a powerful metaphor for helping whiteness face its own death and transformation. Together, we reflect on the sacred interconnectedness of birth and death, the vital role of embodiment in spiritual practice, and the possibility of resurrection that emerges when we embrace grief, ritual, and our shared humanity.

In this episode, we explore:

• How the disembodiment of whiteness disconnects us from ourselves and how its death can open the door to a more authentic way of being
• Choosing joy, depth, and meaningful impact over fame and performance
• The complex relationship between sin and shame
• Crying as part of the body’s natural, life-giving cycle
• How post-Christian identity creates space for more expansive, honest conversations about faith
• Why God cannot be contained by rigid categories. God is being itself

Connect with us:

• Dr. Tamice Spencer-Helms on Instagram
• Connie Chen on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube

Help sustain my work and this podcast on Patreon

Support the show