Episode 8 - Ian's Story: Torn about my sexuality

What happens when who you are feels unsafe to be known?

In this episode of The Torn Podcast, we share Ian’s story, which is a powerful, long-arc journey of inner conflict shaped by growing up gay in a time when homosexuality was illegal in the UK. Narrated by an actor to protect anonymity, Ian’s story traces decades of tension between inner truth and external danger: family expectations, religious pressure, fear of punishment, and the very real threat of violence.

Susan and Caitlin reflect on Ian’s experiences through the lens of inner conflict, exploring shame, secrecy, identity, and the slow, non-linear process of coming to terms with who you are. They look at how context, relationships, and community can either trap us in conflict or help us move through it, and why some conflicts don’t disappear so much as soften, settle, and become integrated over time.

This is an episode about patience, self-compassion, and the courage it takes to keep unfolding even when safety is never guaranteed. A reminder that being torn is not a failure, and that resolution doesn’t always mean certainty, but peace.

Content note: This episode discusses historical criminalisation of homosexuality, stigma, and the threat of violence.

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