Episode 35: Fair Play Part 3 - Time Equality, Provider Pressure, and Being a True Partner at Home with Dr. Adrian Harvey

In Part 3 of our Fair Play series, Kendra sits down with her husband, Dr. Adrian Harvey, to talk candidly about what it looks like for a physician husband to move from "helping" to complete ownership at home. They unpack the provider-role pressure, the mindset shift required to truly value time equally, and how shared ownership can deepen connection with both spouse and kids, even in a demanding medical career.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Dr. Adrian's first reaction to Fair Play, and what changed over time

• What "peer marriage" looks like in a physician household

• The provider role, earning differential, and why money should not determine who carries the home

• What complete ownership means with call schedules and limited bandwidth

• How shared domestic ownership can shift identity, parenting connection, and partnership

• Prioritizing marriage with five kids, protecting romance, and staying emotionally connected

• What Dr. Adrian would tell other physician husbands who believe they "don't have time"

Key takeaways:

• Ownership is not "helping," it's taking responsibility from start to finish

• A demanding schedule makes shared ownership harder, but also more necessary

• When both partners value time equally, resentment drops and friendship grows

Mentioned in this series:

• Fair Play by Eve Rodsky (book and system)

• Modernizing Marriage: Equality and flexibility make better husbands and wives (Psychology Today) https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/199409/modernizing-marriage

Listen to the full Fair Play series:

• Episode 33 (Part 1 of 4): Mental Load, Invisible Labor, and True Partnership

• Episode 34 (Part 2 of 4): Practical Division of Labor with Unpredictable Schedules

• Episode 35 (Part 3 of 4): Time Equality, Provider Pressure, and Being a True Partner at Home

• Episode 36 (Part 4 of 4): Katie and Talon Harris share their Fair Play experience (coming next week)

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Disclaimer: This podcast is educational and supportive, and it is not therapy or medical advice.