Episode 328: The Cove aka Escape to the Cove

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I hated this one.

It wasn't that the writer/director/producer thought he was suited to play the vulnerable, although not really, overly macho nihilistic lead. It wasn't the 5 minute cameo of Eric Roberts in a setting wholly out of character with the rest of the movie, remembering this is a post apocalyptic zombie movie where 99% of people are dead and those that are still alive are scavenging for food and eating cold beans out of a can and Eric in a suit is taking phone calls in a shiny clean bright lit office in front of a working computer. It isn't the appearance of US Navy planes twice with no explanation. Or that the whole thing is a bag of cats set in a marina. Or that the characters wore sleeveless tops and didn't carry weapons. Or that the slow moving blood stained white contact lensed zombies were replaced with glowing eyed fish zombies at some point. It was that Cairo, the supposed lead was an absolute pussy.

He is a useless, whiny, weak, pathetic character who wouldn't survive a weekend in a 2 star motel let alone the zombie apocalypse. No weapon. Doesn't even know how the zombies hunt. Doesn't scavenge in houses. Doesn't know anything. Doesn't fight back. You know Berkeley in Zombieland 2? This is not him. Cairo was just pathetic. Why do we join him months or years into the apocalypse, at a point where the streets of LA are empty and this idiot has survived with zero survival skills?

Grr.

2.5/10 bottom 25 for sure, out of the nearly 400 we have seen. Fuck you, Cairo.