Episode 265: Jerry Maguire, Gollum, and the Fear of Not Existing: A Deep Dive into the Dependent Defense Pattern

Have you ever felt safer letting someone else decide—not because you didn't care, but because choosing for yourself felt overwhelming or even dangerous? Dr. Greg explores the dependent defense pattern and why giving up agency can feel like survival—until healing restores the freedom to exist, choose, and love.

Key Topics:

• Why dependency isn't just fear of being alone—but fear of not existing alone
• How proximity can start to feel like survival
• Why some people lose touch with what they want, like, or dream about
• How dependency can quietly shape marriages, families, and faith
• And how healing doesn't erase need—it restores freedom

Learn More:

• Being Human episodes on narcissistic personality patterns:
  • Ep. #261: Narcissism and the Terror of Being Ordinary
  • Ep. #262: Spiritual Narcissism: Exposing the Sneaky Way We Use Religion as a Pattern of Protection
  • Ep. #263: Holiness and Narcissism
  • Ep. #264: IFS, JP2 and Narcissism
• Is Leadership of the Family a Man's Job? (Being Human, Ep. #201)
• Correcting Aquinas: JP2's Truth Bomb on Gender and Human Dignity (Being Human, Ep. #197)
• Being Human episodes on Parts Work:
  • Ep. #34: A New Theory! w/a Catholic Lens
  • Ep. #35: Why Do I Feel Like I Have Conflicting Thoughts? w/ Dr. Peter Malinoski
  • Ep. #49: Internal Family Systems & External Family Tensions
• Need help? Schedule a free CatholicPsych consultation
• Want to help? Learn more about our Certification in Professional Accompaniment

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