Episode 142 - Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters

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Abish kicks off the final Pearl of Great Price episode with a beverage that feels appropriately Utah-coded: the Still Small Spritzer. The recipe is delightfully chaotic and deeply on-brand. Step one is living within DoorDash range of Swig so you can order a sugary soda concoction (sparkling water with fruit syrups) and have it delivered like the Spirit itself descending from on high. Step two is adding Malibu and vodka “measured with your heart,” because the Spirit of Revelation apparently also governs alcohol ratios. The hosts report that the result is extremely drinkable, occasionally Malibu-forward if you forget to stir it, and broadly effective at getting everyone into the right mood to talk about Mormon primary indoctrination.

Scriptures: [00:23:08]

Instead of a traditional scripture breakdown, aaaAAAaaa launches the segment by playing the church’s official Articles of Faith children’s choir recordings, which immediately turns the podcast into something resembling a haunted Primary program. The hosts listen live and react in real time as Victorian-sounding organ arrangements and eerily enthusiastic children chant Joseph Smith’s theological bullet points. Commentary ranges from bafflement at the bizarre musical choices to jokes about building a haunted house where every room contains a different ghostly child singing an Article of Faith.

Church Teachings: [00:36:26]

Moroni steps in to explain the actual history of the Articles of Faith, revealing that they began not as revelation but as public relations. In 1842, Chicago newspaper editor John Wentworth asked Joseph Smith to explain Mormonism for a broader audience. Smith responded with what is now known as the Wentworth Letter, which summarized church history and ended with thirteen concise statements describing Mormon beliefs. Those statements became the Articles of Faith, essentially functioning as a nineteenth-century missionary pamphlet meant to make Mormonism sound normal and familiar to outsiders.

History: [00:53:51]

For the history segment, Abigail decides to close out the Pearl of Great Price era with something less lecture-heavy and more chaotic: a game built around the Articles of Faith songs themselves. Instead of presenting a traditional research segment, she surprises the hosts with the church’s official musical versions and invites everyone to react, critique, and riff as they listen.

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