Episode 129: Kelly Anne Bates

Today's episode is a tough one, but it is one that we think is important to share. Kelly Anne Bates was a 14 year old child when she met a much older Dave Smith. While her parents helplessly looked on, she slipped further and further into his grasp until finally, he snuffed her out in one of the most gruesome murders to date.

During this uncertain time, we know a lot of people have found themselves quarantined in a dangerous situation, quite possibly with their abusers. Kelly's story is an extreme case but it is a reality for those in abusive relationships. If you find yourself in trouble, here are some ways to reach out for help:

Advocates at the National Domestic Violence Hotline are available 24/7 at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) in more than 200 languages.
Battered women’s support services 604-652-1867 or send us an email at [e-mail] Call 604-687-1867 or 1-855-687-1868 or text 604-652-1867
Last week, local authorities in Spain and the Canary Islands have advised victims of abuse to go to their pharmacies and to use the code word ‘mask 19’ for help.
In the UK, the Independent Office for Police Conduct advises anyone who feels afraid of being overheard when dialing ‘999’ to listen to the questions from the phone operator, respond by coughing or tapping the handset if you can and press ‘55’.

https://www.elle.com/uk/life-and-culture/a32015540/domestic-violence-covid-19-code-word/
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Devastating

Alaina and Ash are very good at bringing their own flair to these stories. In this specific case, Alaina shares her story with being gaslighted by an ex and it shows that it can happen to anyone. At the end of the episode they gave information for domestic abuse victims which I feel is so important.

I have cried during 3 of their episodes. Matthew Shepard, Polly Klaas and now this one.

Thank you for sharing their stories ladies. I hope that something comes of these cases that help prevent others :(

I get it

I totally get it! I was there, I was in a VERY abusive relationship when I was 16, 17 & 18 (same person) and you can’t just “walk away” it’s NOT that easy. My parents handled it the the best they could. I was 16 he was 21, and I needed up moving in with him unofficially. But my parents were ALWAYS there for me when I needed them. My mom would reach out & invite me to dinner, or show up on a Saturday morning and take me tag sailing (garage sales/yard sales) and when the day came that I really was DONE, I called her crying. I was crying because I had a kitten that if I brought home I would have to get rid of. She told me not to worry about it, we will work it out with my dad. But it took 3 YEARS of abuse for me to finally leave... my advice for parents in this situation, don’t fight with the kid, don’t lock them up & throw away the key as it just makes the abuser that much more appealing. Just stay in touch with your kid, NEVER EVER EVET stop calling and reaching out & trying. Hopefully it doesn’t end THIS way and it ends my way, but it could have been SOOOO much worse if my mom had done ANYTHING differently...