Episode 120 - A Hot Girl Named Hagar

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Moroni starts things off with "Sealed for Eternibubbly", a light and deceptively charming cocktail made with vodka, elderflower liqueur, fresh lemon juice, simple syrup, and sparkling rosé. It’s crisp, celebratory, and just fancy enough to distract from the fact that D&C 132 is basically the celestial prenup you didn’t sign. The segment serves as a bubbly prelude to one of the most infamous revelations in LDS history.

Scriptures: [00:24:25]
Claudia takes us through D&C 132, the church’s original and still-most-awkward revelation on plural marriage. Presented as a divine manifesto, the section is part theology, part legal contract, and part Joseph Smith desperately seeking God’s stamp of approval for his extramarital hobbies. Eternal marriage is framed as the key to godhood, but there’s a catch—women are property, adultery is redefined to benefit men, and “destroyed” is God’s favorite threat. Claudia navigates the tangled verses, pointing out the conditional promises, blatant double standards, and the overall vibe of a man trying way too hard to make “God told me to” sound respectable.

Church Teachings: [00:59:12]
aaaAAAaaa breaks down how the church currently frames D&C 132 and plural marriage, from “it was a commandment then but not now” to “we still believe in it eternally, just not in this life… unless you’re a widower.” He threads in the ways official statements dance around the section’s original intent, how leaders talk about “restoration” while quietly scrubbing the messier parts from manuals, and how modern apologetics work to make Joseph’s behavior sound palatable. For some reason, he slides into an accidental British accent, which somehow makes the whole discussion feel even more absurd—Downton Abbey, but with more sealing rooms.

History: [01:26:37]
Abigail zooms out to explore the broader history of polygyny, tracing it from its biblical roots through the LDS introduction and eventual institutional abandonment (at least publicly). She covers how polygyny has functioned as a tool of control in various cultures, the theological gymnastics used to justify it, and its ongoing presence in Mormon fundamentalist movements. The segment makes clear that while the church officially left plural marriage behind in 1890, its doctrinal ghost still haunts Latter-day Saint theology and culture.

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