Episode 119 - Emotional Hypocrisy is Fueling Marital Inequality

Emotional Hypocrisy is Fueling Marital Inequality—and you might be contributing to it without realizing it. If you’ve ever thought, “Why am I the only one trying?” this episode may gently (or not so gently) challenge that assumption.

In many marriages, double standards quietly shape emotional labor, communication patterns, and resentment. We want closeness, attention, and intentional love—but excuse our own defensiveness, contempt, or silent scorekeeping. In this episode of Marriage IQ, Drs. Heidi and Scott Hastings unpack how emotional hypocrisy distorts perception, how bias and mind-reading fuel inequality, and how to stop keeping score before resentment hardens into distance. (And to be clear: abuse is never condoned and requires a different response.)

If this hits a nerve, don’t shut it down—lean in. Share this with your spouse, schedule a 20-minute check-in, and choose one behavior you will change this week. That’s how healthy marriages shift. That’s how intelligent spouses lead.

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