Episode 10 - Moving Beyond the “Participation Trophy”: How to Build Real Grit and Self-Worth

Every few years, the phrase “participation trophy” resurfaces, often wrapped in frustration and concern about whether kids are becoming entitled or fragile. But the real issue is not trophies. The real issue is whether kids are still allowed to belong when they are not the best, and whether adults are willing to keep investing in them when winning is no longer guaranteed.

In this episode of Raise Strong, we take a thoughtful, research-informed look at how grit and self-worth actually develop, and why belonging is the foundation both depend on.

You’ll learn why effort without shame builds resilience, how performance-based belonging impacts kids’ mental health, and what happens when children are quietly pushed out of spaces that once gave them connection, movement, and purpose.

This conversation moves beyond the “kids these days” narrative and focuses on what children truly need in order to grow into confident, capable adults.

In this episode, we discuss:

1. Why the participation trophy debate misses the bigger picture
2. How grit is built through support, not pressure or exclusion
3. The difference between persistence and performance-based worth
4. Why many kids quietly disengage from sports and activities in early adolescence
5. The mental health impact of losing spaces for belonging
6. How anxiety, perfectionism, and disengagement are often survival strategies
7. What adults can do to support real confidence without lowering expectations
8. A simple weekly practice to reinforce effort, completion, and belonging

Key takeaway:

Real grit does not come from constant pressure or comparison. It grows when kids feel safe enough to struggle, try again, and stay connected even when things are hard.

Weekly Practice:

This week, notice effort without tying it to outcome. Reflect persistence, follow-through, and willingness to try, even when results are imperfect.

Resources:

• Calm Down Corner Essentials - https://bit.ly/48WbUUh
• 7 Simple Phrases to Help Your Child Calm Down Without Power Struggles - Download your FREE guide now! - AlexAndersonKahl.com/7-simple-phrases
• Visit Our Website - AlexAndersonKahl.com
• The Meltdown Map: 5 Steps to Handle your Child's Big Emotions - AlexAndersonKahl.com/meltdown-map

Next Episode:

Episode 11 — What to Say Instead of “Hurry Up” (When You’re Already Late)

We’ll explore why time pressure escalates kids so quickly and the language shifts that help transitions go more smoothly.