Ep.9 – “Performativism” & Decentering

In this episode, the ladies unpack the culture of what Calundra calls “performativism.” She came up with this term to describe how performative behavior on social media slowly turns into a personality, and how the constant need to be seen as a “good” person, a good friend, or a successful business owner can quietly become exhausting. At what point does self-expression turn into self-surveillance? And more importantly… where does it end?

We also get into outing etiquette and presence—why every moment doesn’t need to be a work meeting, a brainstorm, or a content opportunity. Some outings are meant to be enjoyed, not optimized. Some conversations deserve your full attention, not half of you behind a screen replying to texts.

We talk about being present with friends, putting the phone down during meaningful moments, and the impact constant phone use has—especially at home with children. Decentering yourself from your phone isn’t about perfection; it’s about intention. Your relationships will feel it. Your nervous system will feel it. And yes—your kids will thank you.

This episode is an invitation to stop performing, start being present, and choose real connection over constant visibility.

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