Ep. 17 What changed when Sam asked for help: Escaping shame to feeling enough, liberated & genuinely successful

In this deeply honest and moving episode, Ashley sits down with Sam Thomas, a Brighton-based entrepreneur, podcast host, mental health advocate and founder of the Y'Alright Mate? campaign.

Sam shares, with remarkable openness, the moments that brought him to his knees, from nearly losing his daughter at birth, to the self-worth challenges that led him to thoughts of suicide in his late 30s.

What unfolds is not just a story of survival, but a powerful reflection on why asking for help is so hard, and why it can be life-saving. And transformative from shame and feeling “I’m not enough” to believing “I am enough”, we discuss how how asking for help transforms self-worth, dissolves inadequacy and opens the door to genuine support

Together, Ashley and Sam explore:

• How early childhood narratives shape our relationship with vulnerability
• Why men are often taught to “get on with it”, and the cost of that silence
• From shame and feeling “I’m not enough” to believing “I am enough” - how asking for help transforms self-worth, dissolves inadequacy and opens the door to genuine support
• How outdated definitions of success quietly damage mental health
• Why and how two emotions can coexist: strength and fear, optimism and grief
• How asking for help can become a life-changing gift, not a burden

This episode is a raw, human conversation about shame, identity, masculinity and the courage it takes to let others in - especially when you’ve spent your life being the strong one.

Key Themes & Moments

• Growing up working-class and learning to survive without asking for help
• Becoming a father, and navigating three weeks of terrifying uncertainty
• Toxic positivity and emotional suppression
• Hitting rock bottom and questioning whether life was worth continuing
• Redefining success as love, relationships and alignment
• Learning to say: “I need help” and letting others respond
• Why reframing help as a gift changes everything
• The power of a simple question: “You Alright, mate?”

About Sam Thomas

Sam is a social entrepreneur and mental health advocate based in Brighton. He is the founder of the You Alright Mate? campaign, encouraging men to check in on each other and normalise honest conversations around mental health and suicide prevention.

A Simple Ask

Sam’s invitation is beautifully simple:
Check in on someone this week and ask "You Alright mate?"
One message. One question. One moment of connection.

Because sometimes, that question really can save a life.

Links & Resources

• You Alright Mate? Campaign - https://www.different-hats.co.uk/you-alright-mate
• The Gift of Help mission and services - www.thegiftofhelp.org

If this conversation resonated with you, please consider sharing it with someone who might need it, and remember: asking for help is not weakness, it’s courage.

You can contact me on:
Email: [e-mail]
Facebook: Ashley Usiskin
Instagram: @gift_of_accepting_help_podcast
Linked: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ashleyusiskin/