Ep. 15 Why Success Scares Us More Than Failure

Episode Summary:

What if it’s not failure you’re afraid of—but success? In this deep-dive episode, Scott and Kristen unpack one of the most overlooked mindset blocks: the fear of success. Whether it’s the pressure to maintain, fear of visibility, or anxiety around losing relationships, success can stir up just as much fear as failure—and sometimes more.

Drawing from personal stories, coaching experiences, and the latest psychology research (including insights from the Harvard Grant Study), Scott and Kristen break down the subconscious behaviors that show up when success feels unsafe. Think procrastination, underdelivering, quitting early, or constantly shifting goals. Sound familiar?

You’ll learn:

• The three hidden fears behind fear of success
• How to recognize if you’re self-sabotaging
• Why your stress response matters—and what to do about it
• Tools to create internal safety and finish what you start

Plus, get a peek into Kristen’s emotional journey from hairstylist to online educator—and the identity shifts that came with it.

Take the Free Quiz:

Discover your unique stress response and how it may be holding you back here: sonderalife.com/podquiz

Timestamps:

0:00 - What if everything you’ve been told about happiness is wrong?

1:42 - Introducing the fear of success

4:26 - Why success can feel destabilizing

8:47 - Loss aversion and identity shifts

13:35 - Three hidden fears behind fear of success

18:33 - Subconscious behaviors and stress responses

27:20 - Under-delivering to protect your ego

32:31 - Signs you might fear finishing

39:36 - Happywell Homework: How to move forward

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