Ep 1 Friendships in our 30s: How they Break us and Heal us, Resolving Conflicts, and Prioritising Mental Health

In this episode of Let’s Pour & Ponder, hosts Pooja and Nikita open up about the realities of managing friendships in your 30s, especially when faced with toxic dynamics. They discuss the emotional strain of being there for others, recognising when relationships become unhealthy, and how important it is to prioritise your mental well-being. This episode also honours World Mental Health Day, shedding light on the need for seeking professional help and breaking the stigma around mental health, especially in South Asian cultures.

Summary

Navigating friendships in your 30s can be complicated, especially when balancing emotional support with your own needs. Pooja and Nikita share their personal experiences of dealing with the challenges of setting firm boundaries in their friendships, and how emotional labour can take its toll. They reflect on how life changes - like becoming a parent or receiving a late ADHD diagnosis - affect relationships.

As we celebrate World Mental Health Day, the hosts remind listeners of the importance of seeking professional help, while also encouraging open conversations around mental health and well-being.

KEY POINTS:

1. Recognizing Toxic Behaviors in Friendships

The hosts discuss key signs that a friendship has turned toxic, such as constant name-calling, guilt-tripping, and refusal to acknowledge emotional boundaries. They highlight the emotional toll of supporting friends who do not reciprocate or respect boundaries.

2. The Importance of Setting Boundaries

Pooja and Nikita emphasize the need to set firm boundaries with friends, especially when their emotional needs become overwhelming. They reflect on how communicating boundaries or distancing yourself is crucial for maintaining mental health and self-care.

3. Mental Health Awareness and Seeking Help

The episode ties into World Mental Health Day, encouraging listeners to consider professional therapy or counselling when personal relationships start to feel emotionally draining. While friends can offer support, therapy provides a safe space for exploring deeper mental health issues.

4. Friendship Dynamics in Your 30s

With changes like parenthood or career growth, friendships can evolve or fade. The hosts explore how friendship priorities shift as we get older, and how it’s okay to be more selective with the people you allow into your inner circle.

5. Living with ADHD and Autism: The Impact on Social Relationships

Nikita shares her personal story of being diagnosed with ADHD and discovering she is on the autism spectrum. She reflects on how this new understanding of her neurodiversity has helped her understand herself better and how they may have impacted friendships all her life.

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